THINKING ON THE HAPPY

Having a rough, tiring, overwhelming day today, so I decided to think on a few happy things:

1. My daughter had her nose pierced and it looks very cute.
2. My friend, Kelly, sent me two pics today, one of her baby boy on his daddy's lap at the piano, and another of her pregnant and totally beautiful profile.
3. When I unpacked my new work laptop the other day, there was a pink breast cancer support key ring, and it made me think of my friend.
4. My mom's neighborhood had a block party on Saturday. I got to meet a lot of people who I wouldn't have met otherwise and also to visit with a few old friends.
5. Your blogs were fun, and interesting, and vulnerable, and....well, they feel kind of cozy to me. Hope that makes sense.
6. I got a secret message from a friend in an email that made me laugh.
7. God...thinking about God. He makes me feel happy.
8. The movie I watched last night...The Green Mile....it made me cry but I was glad I watched it.
9. I planted these yellow daisy like flowers, and they always look like they are smiling.
10. The rain. I like the rain.

IMAGE TAKEN FROM HERE.

NORMALIZING

Yesterday my alarm went off at 4 a.m. I had to leave for Grand Rapids by 6 a.m. I had to get myself ready, prepare my mom's meals, clothes, and medications for the days, take care of the pets, spend time reading and studying the Bible, and water the flowers outside before I left. I remember turning my alarm off. The next thing I knew...it as 5:49!!!

You know it! I scurried around. Woke my daughter up way too early to ask her to get some food, any food, prepared for my mom. I rushed off to work to meet my co-worker who I would be following out to our training sessions. I had to put my make-up on in the car...that was when I discovered that I had no mascara. Good thing I had some liquid eyeliner which had to double as mascara. Just as I started to relax a bit a had a funny feeling in my nose....oh, nooooo....couldn't be happening right now as we were speeding down the expressway.....holy cow, yes! A nose bleed. Luckily I had some napkins on the passenger seat so I could intervene before I showed up to my customer with nose bleed all over my blouse. I had to laugh at my morning, crazy and wild as it was, because I wondered how I must look to the other drivers with a napkin hanging out of my left nostril.

Despite my crazy morning, I think I am in the process of normalizing. When I looked up the word, normalizing had something to do with metallurgy or to resume a normal state. My mom, work, and a few other areas seem to be returning to a more manageable state.

There are two areas of my life that I am extremely excited about normalizing in. One is the area of people. I love people. I love to spend time with people. Like you bloggers. I can't tell you how hard it was for me to wonder how you all were, to pray for you not knowing what things you were thinking about or going through or laughing about. I've missed my daughter....just having time to laugh and hang out or sit late at night and just talk about this or that. And my friends and family...I feel like I have been scheduling them in...a few minutes here...a function there...without really getting to enjoy them because I was too tired or too busy.

The second area is with the Lord. I have been so tired, distracted, overwhelmed. I have slept through the alarm clock and missed my morning time with Him.....on several occasions. I have fallen asleep as soon as my head as hit the pillow, missing my nightly chit chat time...just the two of us...no devotions to get through, no lesson to study....just me enjoying being with Him in the still quiet of the night until I drifted off to sleep, breathing in His Spirit and His presence. This I have missed most of all, because it is where I find rest, rejuvenation and inspiration.

I think I am normalizing....and I am excited to be....back!

FOR ARLENE

"The potency of prayer hath subdued the strength of fire; it hath bridled the rage of lions, hushed anarchy to rest, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, expelled demons, burst the chains of death, expanded the gates of heaven, assuaged diseases, repelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. Prayer is an all-sufficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine which is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by the clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, the mother of a thousand blessings." - From the book "Walking from East to West", pg. 160.

Please pray for Arlene.

image taken from here.

Wrist Bands

A new employee I am training has been wearing a yellow wrist band. I asked her yesterday what it was for. Her dad died two years ago and it was to support a certain foundation related to his disease. I also learned that her uncle died almost a year to the day later and that since then, November has become a very difficult month for her. Had she not been wearing that wrist band, I may not have learned that about her.

The first time I ever saw one of those rubber wrist bands was years ago during the WWJD period. WWJD bracelets were everywhere....hoping to remind us to think about our actions in light of what Jesus would do in that same situation. I have a card on the wall in my office that is entitled...."Jesus in a Dilemma". There is a drawing of Christ looking at a rubber wrist band on His wrist that says, "What Would I Do?" It cracked me up when I bought it and still makes me smile.

I have only sported a rubber wrist band on one occasion...while my friends were in the process of adopting their children. The purple wrist bands we wore helped remind us to pray and pray we did. It was a tough process, a time of testing and questioning and wondering where God was and why He didn't jump in and fix things. Which as always, He did in His way and in His time and I have had the hugs and kisses from two beautiful children who call me "Aunt Kaki" to prove His faithfulness and graciousness.

My co-worker's wrist band has had me thinking. It seems there is a lot of pain, a lot heartache, a lot of hope, a lot of dreams represented in these simple rubber wrist bands that people wear. What if we all sported these wrist bands representing what we were going through in life at the time? I mean, we could just look at a person's arm and know how to pray for them, how to support them. Or how to judge them. I thought of a few things that I would not want to display on my rubber wrist band for the world to see. Or another problem would be the sheer volume a few of us would need to cover all the areas we were struggling through. And, I think it would become easy for us to ignore them. After all, we have busy lives, limited resources....we can't fix all the problems in the world. Can we?

I would never, ever make fun of these wrist bands. Like I said...they represent a lot to the people who wear them and I want to be sensitive and respectful of that. And I really don't believe that wearing wrist bands that state one's cares is the only way to identify the need. I believe the signs are everywhere....in the eyes, the smile (or lack of), in the voice, the sag in one's shoulders...and I believe that God's Holy Spirit directs us to those we have been chosen to come alongside. I think I will continue to watch for wrist bands and more importantly, listen for the voice that directs me. Now, if I can just work on obedience!!!!!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"A flick is NOT a flip...there IS a difference!!" - Rachel Mc

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I'm slowing down to 80!"

I said this to my daughter as we were flying out to Grand Rapids this weekend. We were late for a 25th Wedding Anniversary Party. We had been stuck in 3 different construction areas. It occurred to me that this is how life has been lately. Been rushing and then hitting "stop and go" traffic. The good thing is that things are "slowing down to 80" for me.

I have to say that I miss you all. I miss reading about your lives. I miss feeling like you are a part of mine. My committment is to get back online at least 4 times a week.

Lastly, thank you for praying for my daughter's friend. She (and her friend) are recovering nicely from the transplant. They appreciated your prayers.

Love you all. Going to check out your blogs now!!

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

My daughter has two sisters and their children from our old church that she is very close to and loves very much. One of the sisters has less than 10% kidney function and is scheduled to receive a donor kidney this Friday. Without it, she will die. Please pray for both this woman and her friend, who is the donor. Thanks so much!

SO, THIS IS WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON....

Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and encouragement.

We have kind of gotten our routine down. Every morning, I get my mom up and going. She needs assistance w/ her toileting. We have her wear a diaper now. I have to help her get dressed b/c she can't figure out how to get her clothes on and off. She wants to be waited on and I know she gets mad when I make her do things for herself. Or, if we don't respond to her requests quickly enough. Part of me wishes I could take the phone away from her. She makes all these weird calls. One day, she called the phone company to see if I changed her phone number and address while she was in the nursing home. When she gets a recording she talks to the recording like it was a real person..."Okay, I am going to press 3...alright, I just pressed the number". Some stuff is funny and makes us laugh. Some stuff has me worried. I came home the other day to find that she had a couple of blisters on her index finger. I checked and there was nothing on the stove, the microwave was unplugged just as I left it...then I noticed the coffee. I forgot to pour her coffee into a cup before I left in the morning. I am sure she tried to reach for it and burned her finger. Yesterday, I had pulled a couple hamburger patties out of the freezer to make for her dinner. When I went to cook them, they were gone. I asked her where they were. She had eaten the raw patties. In the nursing home, she complained that they gave her too much food. At home, she eats constantly. I make her breakfast, she gets "Meals on Wheels", I leave out a couple snacks (fruit, popcorn, granola bars) and she has it all eaten before lunchtime. We are learning to not argue with her or try to reason with her if at all possible. Sometimes she knows she sounds looney. Other times, she thinks we are crazy and unreasonable and even mean.

As hard as this is for me, I know it is more difficult for her. She was always an independent person. She is often aware that she is becoming disoriented. She is living in her own home but her choices and issues related to self-determination are being whittled away, faster and faster. She is the parent who gets told what to do and when, by her children. Her home and life have been invaded. She can't be trusted to spend her own money and I only leave her with a few dollars at a time.

Yesterday, I cried. I was just feeling overwhelmed and the pressure of never being caught up with her needs, of the craziness of some of her behaviors, of being pulled and pressed on every front. So, I rested. And have more strength for this new day.

On another front, I am taking an actual lunch today!!! And I am planning on trying to get caught up on your lives and read your blogs. Whoo hoo!

Also, my wonderful, beautiful, loving, fun, intelligent, musical daughter turned 17 years old last week!

Ok, here I go to read your blogs........................

COMING HOME

My mom is coming home tomorrow. I am not ready. I still have some things to get in order. I still have to prepare myself mentally for the challenge of caring for her. Good thing I am not relying on my own strength.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10

ARLENE DAY

Following the lead of some of the rest of my blogger family, Wednesdays are "Arlene Day", a day to pray and fast and seek God on her behalf (and her husband's).

UNLEASHED

I have been waiting for weeks for this special time with You. It may be a concert to some, but to me it will be so much more. I am waiting to raise my hands to You. I am waiting to sing my heart out to You. I am waiting to dance before You. I am waiting to give You my love and my praise and my adoration. I am waiting to meet You there. And I know it will be totally unleashed!

image taken from here.

THE NURSING HOME RESIDENT

My mom has been in a nursing home for rehab since the beginning of April. She has been in and out in the past recovering from some thing or another. This is the first time we weren't sure she would be coming home. Even now, we are not sure that she should be coming home, but I want to try at least one more time. Things might not work out.

This morning I stopped in to drop off her laundry. During my visits, I have noticed that she is looking more and more like a nursing home resident and less and less like my mom. She has periodic episodes of confusion and forgetfulness. She tests out as mildly to moderately disoriented. She is having more trouble recalling words and expressing herself. We have had to keep her microwave at home unplugged for a while now because she keeps setting things on fire. So, when I stopped in, I mentioned that I was getting things ready for her to come home in a week or two....she has new windows on her house, flowers in the front, freshly painted and tiled bathroom. She looked up at me from her wheelchair, her blue blue eyes filling with tears, and she started to cry. "I am? I am coming home? I get to see the kids and my cat?" It broke my heart.

I have been wondering if I was doing the right thing. She has alot of friends at the nursing home and stays pretty busy during the day. She has all the help she needs. She has no chance to burn something in the microwave. It would be easier for all of us. But this morning I knew....one more time, maybe only one day or one week...who knows how long we can manage...but one more time to come home and see her cat and her house and her things before she is consigned to becoming a nursing home resident.

QUICK UPDATES

• I am using my own office for the first time in a couple of weeks. I just went to look something up on my desk calender and it was set on May 31st! This week I believe things will be almost back to normal.
• My daughter talked to her dad yesterday for Father's Day. He and his wife went to church, perhaps the first time the two of them have been to church together! For those of you who have been praying....thanks...and keep it up. Who knows what God may have in store!!!

ketchup day

we are having new windows put in at my mom's house today....so i brought some work to do at home, on the computer, while they are going in. my plan is also to get to all your blogs and see what has been going on. i have missed you all!

Image taken from here.

I LOVE MY JOB

Image take from here.

I love my job. You guys, I really do. I can't even begin to name all the benefits, but here are a few:

• I work with some of my closest friends.
• I can talk to my daughter online all day.
• I am continually challenged to learn something new.
• My boss not only appreciates, but expects and empowers you to make decisions for the better of the company.
• There are people everywhere-customers I talk to on the phone, associates coming through the office throughout the day,-new people all the time.
• Things rarely get boring. My boss is always onto a new venture, a new project.
• There are a few difficult people and I have learned to grow and mature spiritually because, and sometimes in spite, of them.
• It has been a safe haven for me during the past five years of divorce and recovery.
• When I work hard, it is noticed and rewarded.
• Two awesome kids come to work with their mom a couple times a week and just their sounds-their voices, their laughter, running feet-put an instantaneous joy in my heart.

I am grateful, I am thankful, I am blessed.

I'M IN THERE SOMEWHERE

hey all! things at work have been unusually busy. i haven't even had time to read any blogs. if there is something i need to know, or someone to be praying for...plz email me. i will read them but may not have a chance to reply for another week. i have been praying for you, my blogville friends and family.

hoping things slow down by next week. and in those famous words....."i'll be back!"

image taken from here

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I could be a massage lush..."

said by my friend after he and his wife had a spa weekend.

Image taken from here.

WHAT I REALLY WANT

Thanks everyone - so, so much for your support, and kindness, and prayers, and laughter. Now we have recorded evidence that I can lose my temper. And yes, we are doing better. And the sun shines brighter today than it did yesterday.

I knew that I would be writing you today, asking you to pray for my ex-husband, because I believe in redemption. I believe that the hardest heart can be redeemed by Jesus Christ. Mine has and continues to be.

Today I was reading the following:

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26

And God's Word, as always, got right to the heart of the matter. What I really want is not for my ex-husband to be a good dad. What I really want for this man is redemption. I want him to bow his heart and fully submit to a Just and Holy God. I want him to feel the embrace of his Savior and the warmth of that love between the created and the Creator. I want his heart to burn with desire for fellowship and intimacy with the Beautiful One.

What I really want is for you to pray with me, that God may perhaps grant him repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, that God would rescue him from the snare of the devil, and that he would come to his senses...and know that he is gloriously captured and that he would be captivated by Jesus our Christ.

Image taken from here.

BROKEN HEARTS

This morning I asked 7-11 Sam how her kids enjoyed their camping trip with their dad. Their dad never came and picked them up. He was on the phone with his son an hour before he was scheduled to arrive and assured his son he was on his way. This sweet little boy sat on the curb waiting for his dad all afternoon. This dad never showed.

This afternoon, my daughter went to lunch with her grandmother, my ex-husband's mother. She texted me to tell me that she just found out that her dad recently went to France. (His new wife's daughter and grandchild live in France.) I haven't talked to her yet, but I know my daughter is devastated. Her dad never calls her. He left the freakin' country and never told her. He visited a country that she dreams of visiting and never told her.

I am out in dispatch and trying to hold back the tears. I switch between finding it hard to breathe and wanting to throw up...I am so so soooo angry. Because he does this over and over. And I have to stand here and watch it happen. I can't protect her from this.

I know she has me and I am a great mom. I know that God is going to use this for good in her life and make something wonderful out of it. I know that she will survive. I know that when I see her in a little while, I will love her and point her back to Jesus. And she will continue to love and forgive her dad.

But for right now...I want to fight. I want to take him down. I want to make him a better dad. I want to hold him accountable for every tear he has made her cry.

Image taken from here.

THE DIA

We had so much fun at the DIA today. Now, I am not an art aficionado but some of the paintings were incredible. My new favorite artist (as of today)...George C. Lambdin is renown for his paintings of roses. We kept bumping into a couple of art snobs...oh my gosh, they were so pretentious and it made me fall in love with them. They were making all the right comments about the sculptures or paintings. I, on the other hand, was making stuff up and cracking jokes. There were some portraits that were amazing...the detail and the life the artist was able to capture....there were a few that we were sure were going to get up and walk right out of the paintings!

But the most wonderful thing I saw was as we were leaving. We were standing by the front doors, getting ready to head out into the pouring rain. People were coming in shaking the rain off, and others were huddled getting ready to start into the museum, still others were making mad dashes out the doors in their vain attempts to ward of the raindrops. I noticed a couple a bit off to my right. They were older, ordinary. The man was arranging a jacket around the shoulders and head of the woman, I assumed to keep her dry when they walked out. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I could tell it was tender. And she stood there, arms at her side just looking up at him. I couldn't help but stare as we made our way past. And the look in their eyes, him looking down into her face and her, looking up with complete adoration....an intimate moment caught in time....it was breathtakingly beautiful!

Google George C. Lambdin to see more of his works!

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

I am really looking forward to an extended weekend. Tonight I am getting together with my close friends...my family really. We have been taking a look at what God says about character. One of my friends is bringing me some lilacs. I have lilac bushes at my house (that I am still renting out) and I was kind of sad the other day because I thought I missed lilacs this year...I used to fill my house and my office with them. Anyhow, I love these people and I can't wait to spend some time with them.

Tomorrow or Sunday, I am taking my daughter to the DIA. She doesn't know it yet, but I have been promising to take her for months and months and have never fit it into the schedule. I just found out it will be closing for 7 months or so....I just have to make this happen. I will probably work on the yard at my mom's house, go to the nursing home to visit her, and work on the bathroom...I have started taking down the wallpaper...ugh, big project. Sunday afternoon, MakeNew meets and we usually have a meal together.

I am hoping to keep Monday kind of quiet...maybe watch an old movie or two and relax a bit.

The other thing I am planning on doing is spending some time in prayer for our troops.

Image taken from here.

OH YEAH!

8 p.m. tonite! me and my girl...not as good as the LOTR trilogy...but still looking forward to it!

Image taken from here.

PRAYER FOR MY PASTOR

Hi Lord,

I would like to ask You for a few things for my pastor.

Will You give him a joyful heart, filled with laughter and the wonder of You?

Will You keep his family safe and healthy and strong?

Will You surround him with great men who are supportive, and wise, and who love You like nothing else?

Will You enforce the vision You have placed on his heart, so he is sure of the way he is headed?

Will Your Spirit come upon him and anoint him in a tangible and mighty way?

Will You give him rest in the middle of this difficult thing called church planting?

Will You open Your word to his heart and mind so he is illuminated with the truth it holds?

Will You form him into an awesome leader, who points the rest of us to You?

Will You keep him pure and guide him through the things that would distract him or pull him from You?

Will You make sure he never has to wear a funny hat to fulfill his service and duty to You?

Thank You (especially for the hat thing...wink). I love You.

Kathy

Image taken from here.

DIFFERENT STROKES

i was thinking about a concert my daughter, some friends, and i will be going to in a few weeks. i will lift my arms up and sing and shout and throw my self totally into the experience.

/

my daughter will stand, probably with arms folded, watching, quiet, not uttering a sound while she totally throws herself into the experience.

/

and we will both have a great time. and we will both come away rejoicing in our Rescuer, Jesus! and both of our hearts will be glad and overflowing. i can't wait!

/

Image taken from here.

ANGER OVERLOAD

I have never had so many people angry at me at one time as I have had in the past couple of weeks. There have been family issues, work issues...to be honest...there have been issues on just about every front.

I have also had a few people ask me recently if I was angry about something when I wasn't. So, it got me to thinking. I am not always aware of how I come across. When I am overwhelmed, or burdened, or worried, or afraid...I think I can appear angry when in reality, my mind is totally somewhere else. The other thing that happens is that I am not as careful towards others as I normally am.

Another side of the coin is that sometimes, I am angry...really angry. Last week one person in our office was not helping out when we were in a bit of a crisis...you know those "all hands on deck" kind of times. I thought about asking someone else to say something to this person. I figured that wouldn't be fair, so I bit the bullet and told the person to get to work. Later, that person posted something that made me mad every time I saw it. I could feel my temperature rising....my eyes going back to the passive-aggressive message every few minutes. I thought of a hundred smart-aleck responses and even started to type a few in response. I finally closed myself in my office and just begged God to bring my heart to a place of repentance. I posted the name of Jesus right next to the other person's post...so that my eyes would be drawn to His name instead of the other.

The old me would have struck back and struck hard. I grew up with three brothers and I lived with an angry man for 23 years. I know how to throw down. And I have. And there have been times when I know I have brought shame to the name of my Lord with my angry behavior. Nowadays, I recognize that there are other things more important than being right, or being the strongest, or winning.

So, I have been spending the past few days rebuilding. There was the phone call to a co-worker who was rude to me because he thought I was being rude to him. I called him and said I was sorry for anything in my tone that may have given him the impression that I was being rude. We ended up laughing together and he worked harder on the next project I needed him for than he would have the day before. There was a visit to a family member who had gossiped about me and judged me unfairly. I just tried to be as friendly and loving as I could. The jury is still out on this one, but at least there remains an open door between us. This weekend there was another family member who I had inadvertently offended when I disagreed on a position that I thought was benign. I dropped in to tell that person that I loved her and was sorry that I had hurt her and promised I would be more careful going forward. Her smile was a mile wide when we parted.

I am trying to be more careful with my interactions with others, to be watchful of the climate we find ourselves in, to keep myself in the present and not let distractions make me appear uncaring or unloving.

Image taken from here.

CYPERSPACE

Yesterday, I had an email pop up in my in box that had been sent to me in March. Two months later...here it is. It got me to wondering....where was it all this time? Just floating around in cyberspace? What is cyberspace? Binary language? How does the simplicity of two symbols produce this vast galaxy of information and communication?

Prayer is like this for me. It is so simple yet so beyond my comprehension and understanding. I cannot explain prayer.

Images taken from here and here.

THE UNEXPECTED

Today has not gone at all as planned. I had planned to stop in at the nursing home to see my mom before work. Didn't happen.

I walked in the door at work and the things I had planned to accomplish today are still undone. After over 6 hours of being here, I am just now able to slow down and take a breather. In the middle of the stress of the day, I reminded a couple of people, as well as my own self, that things are in God's hands.

Tonight, I was planning to do something, but then was told that I didn't need to, and then today was told that I did need to. Of course, I had already made other plans. Expected plans cancelled have now become another dip in today's unexpected.

Last night I was asking God about some areas of uncertainty in my family's life. In the middle of the craziness of the day, I hear Him reminding me that my unexpected, is not at all unexpected to Him.

And I find peace. Close to Him.

But for me it is good to be near God;I have made the Lord God my refuge,that I may tell of all your works. Psalm 73:28

Image taken from here.

MY MOTHER'S DAY

I had a full day ahead of me but I got to spend a few minutes reading a new book my friend, Tracey, got me. It's about William Wilberforce and I am finding it absolutely fascinating. In fact, it is making me want to read more about him and by him.

My daughter woke up and came in to give me a huge hug. The card she got me made me cry. It had a quote from "Winne the Pooh" that in it's simplicity, spoke profoundly about the depth of relationship between Pooh and Christopher Robin. I love that she picked that card out. I also cried because I am sure my backside looks alot like Pooh's...lol.

We hit the road early to go out to Lansing to see our friends and their new son. My daughter plugged in her Ipod and played all the songs that she has downloaded just for me, or songs that she thought I would like to hear. How wonderful is it that my kid has songs on her Ipod for her mom? That is a gift in itself.

When we got to Trinity Church I had to visit the Ladies' Room because I drank a diet coke on the way there. (This fact will be important later.) Rachel and I found some seats and when my friend Alan came out to get ready for the service...I bounded up to the stage to say hello and let him know we were there. I really enjoyed the musical part of the service. I love singing when Alan is leading...he is gifted and his leadership in this area moves me to praise my God with my voice and my heart. During the offering, a 91 year old great, great grandmother played a melody of hymns, including one of my all time favorites, "In the Garden". She was blind. She played beautifully. She glorified God in her playing. I wanted to give her the biggest hug but settled on joining the rest of the congregation in giving her a standing ovation. I wondered what I will be like should God favor me with 91 years?!

After the service, I was standing in the very crowded gathering area. I was laughing and talking with the Cullens, as well as another young family that I deeply love. I can be pretty animated. It was when I reached over to give one of these young mom's a Mother's Day hug that my daughter's eyebrows went up and she said, "Um, mom....." She kind of pointed and I thought maybe I had something on my jacket or blouse. I looked at her but she was pointing lower...um lower than I would have liked. (Remember that trip to the bathroom?) Yep, my zipper was unzipped! And since my pants were a light, gauzy linen, I couldn't perform the one handed zip up! I decided to hold my purse in a strategically placed position until I could correct matters in a more private location. My mind did flash back to my visit to the front of the church to say hello to Alan before the service started. I thought all those smiling faces were people just being friendly! I got an email from Kelly this morning that had me laughing about this all over again.

Later in the afternoon, we met with some other friends for some talk, some dinner, and a bit of laughter when I opened a bottle of pop after I had dropped it. There are a few young mom's and expecting mom's who are becoming very dear to my heart and I was happy that I got to spend part of my Mother's Day with them.

We made it home in time to watch the Survivor finale. Rachel and I watched it together...watching us watch this show would be like watching fans at a sporting event. There is plenty of jumping up and down, shouting at the screen, and high-fiving that goes on!

Just a simple day. But I would live it over again!

Image taken from here.

MY 7-ELEVEN

So, I haven't seen Robert for many, many months. Neither has 7-11 Sam. She said he doesn't come in any more. This morning when I stopped for my coke, there was a new guy digging through the trash for bottles. I took him a few bottles and he said, "Thanks, this will help shorten my day!" If I see him around again, I will find out his name....and see if he needs shoes (wink)...but for now I will refer to him as "Bottle Guy".

The owner's wife and I were walking into the building together. She has a beautiful smile and is always so happy and welcoming. Her husband is not so smiley...but I have learned that he is just as nice as she is...he just doesn't let it show as much.

Sam is doing well, although her son is having behavior problems again. She is getting called to his school on a regular basis.

When I was at the counter paying for my coke, there was a woman who was trying to pay for some gas that she had already pumped, using a gift card. The card was $2 short. I could hear the panic in her voice because she didn't have it...she was pleading with the owner to let her go find an ATM or go home and come back. She almost started to cry. Gosh, there have been so many times I have felt the same way...short on cash and trying to figure out how I was going to pay a bill. I had exactly $2 in my wallet and it was easy to hand it over because I have been rescued time after time after time. She gave me a hug and did cry. I understood her tears. I told her to consider it a gift from her God.

I have come to really love my little 7-11 family...the ones I no longer see and truly miss, the ones I see every morning, and the new ones I am just getting to know.

GABRIEL

Please be praying for Gabriel. He is just about 2 months old and is having surgery tomorrow to remove a cyst from his intestines.

QUOTES OF THE DAY

My daughter got to come with me on my business trip. We had some interesting conversations, resulting in two "Quotes of the Day":

"Aaaahhhhh....Awaken your mind and focus your attention as my arm extends to point out an item of interest over toward the west!" -How we imagined Sir Walter Scott might say "Look over there!"

"Dang, my uterus fell out again...Not a good day!" -A cow story from All Creatures Great & Small triggered a conversation on prolapsed uterus's.

Image taken from here.

update

hey everyone,

i was out of town on business and caught up in a crazy week last week, so i have just finished reading all your blogs and figured i would give you a quick update:

-thanks for all your prayers. God has really given me some answers and a sense of peace in the area that i was seeking Him in. He brought the story of joseph to my mind...specifically, "what [was] meant for evil, God meant for good".

-thanks for the prayers for my sister-in-law. they hadn't told anyone else in the family, but she was being checked for cancer. biopsies are in and there is no evidence of cancer!

-happy belated birthday to my friend, Max!!

i hope to be back on the regular blog circuit from here on out!

take care,
kaymc

PLEASE BE PRAYING

A post or so ago I mentioned that my brother Mike is one person who always helps me out, who is always there for me when I need a friend or some kind of help.

Well, Mike and I have been calling back and forth since last Friday evening. Please be praying for a family member. I will tell you more next week.

Thanks, both he and I appreciate your prayers.

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS....

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens....these are a few of my favorite things:

• Watching...er, playing with Maddy & Ty Thursday while their parents were at a hockey game.
• Bible study Friday with my closest friends...everyone together for the first time in a very, very long time (except for Sandy) just celebrating Jesus.
• Hearing Noah's little voice praying while the adults were praying.
• Playing with Noah and smothering him with hugs and kisses...which he rarely lets me do now that he is such a grown up boy getting ready for kindergarten.
• Having lunch with Kelly and loving on her new little son, Sean, who is our much awaited miracle, and talking about her other miracle on the way.
• Asking my daughter who her role models are and hearing her say..."You are, mom!" PRICELESS!!!!

For these and the so much more that You wrap my life and my heart in...I am ever grateful. Amen.

Image taken from here.

complete lyrics in case you wanted them:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things



Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things



Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favorite things



When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

REFUGE

Where do you go when you need to feel safe?

Sometimes for me it has been a place. Most people don't know this, but when I was very young, I was incredibly shy. So shy that when we were expecting visitors, I would watch for them at the living room window-hardly containing my excitement. When they arrived, I would go hide in my bedroom closet or under the bed-no one could coax me out. My grandparent's house was another of my safe places-It always gave me a sense of peace, a sense of comfort. Church has often been safe place for me. Slipping into my seat, listening, or singing, or just being quiet. When I was going through my divorce, I used to curl up in bed, pulling the covers tight, hiding from life.

Sometimes for me it has been people. My brother, Mike, is one of them. When I have a problem or am upset-I call him, or we get together, or he shows up to offer help. When my husband came to tell me that I would be served with divorce papers the following day, I left my house...afraid to have my daughter see the breakdown I knew was coming. I ran to my friends-and was in as vulnerable and broken a state, physically and spiritually, as I have ever allowed another human to see me in....before or since.

A bed, a closet, a pew, a people. Last night, I couldn't wait to get home to the safest place of all for me. I needed to be alone with God. I poured out my heart to Him. I wept. I asked Him so many questions. I laid my broken heart before Him and pointed..."Look, these are my wounds. These are my hurts. This is my devestation. " Deep. I brought Him into the deepest parts of my grief.

And now I wait for His answers to my questions. I wait, perhaps for His correction. I wait for His healing. I wait for His insight. But I am calm now as I wait...because I know I wait in the safety of Him.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation,my fortress;

I shall not be shaken.

On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge for us. Selah

Psalm 62:5-8

Image taken from here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY A DAY EARLY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA!

IMAGE TAKEN FROM HERE.

HUNGRY

I am hungry.

Not for food. Nor for fellowship. But for more of Jesus.

I am hungry to see lives changed and transformed.
To see hearts broken with repentance and then broken with the realization that they have been rescued and redeemed.
To look into eyes that have been dead and to see the spark of the Holy God awakening them.
To rejoice, and dance, and sing, and clap, and cry, and dance, and sing some more with those in their first moments of realization that they once were dead but now are alive!
To bend my knee alongside a soul that is aware of the presence of a Creator, so mighty, so holy, so loving...that it takes one's breath away.

I am hungry to be out of my pew.
To hold a hand that is gnarled and bruised with the hardships of life.
To kiss away tears of devastation.
To walk side by side the lame and forgotten.
To be silly with children when adults are too busy for play.
To wash feet laden with miles, and dirt, and pain.
To soothe those in need of soothing.

I am hungry.
And I am afraid.
Not because of what it will cost me because I know the cost will be great.
You modeled that already.
I am afraid that You will present me with the opportunities and I will be too busy, too self-absorbed, too comfortable, too unloving, too uncaring, and most of all...too apathetic.
I am afraid that I may say no to You.

I am hungry.
And I am afraid.
I am afraid that a day will come when I will no longer feel this hunger.

I am hungry.
Jesus, keep me hungry.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Unforgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die."

Found in a post on The Gaslight Gospel blog.

Image taken from here.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

God only has one sake!

FAITH

Like alot of us experience from time to time, I have just come through a couple stressful weeks. Not all the stress was bad, there were some wonderful times throughout, but I have been running from one thing to the next. It started with my mom having a week long stay in the hospital after re-injuring her back. She is now in a nursing home, hopefully for rehab-only time will tell if she is able to regain the skills she needs to come home. Despite how difficult it has been to care for her at home, I am really struggling with seeing her become so feeble, physically and mentally.

On to the good stuff:

Besides getting my mom settled and trying to visit as often as we can, we have had the joy of our friends' first baby. We were able to spend some time with them at the hospital in the beginning hours of their labor, and I attempted to run up to the hospital to see the baby at least once before they came home, but never made it. I have seen pictures though, and he is beautiful!

This past week we celebrated Tyler's second "Gotcha Day" anniversary-his parents carried him out of an orphanage in Russia and into the hearts of a huge family who has been loving him ever since.

Along with some other family members, I helped throw a 50th birthday party for one of my sisters-in-law. Mary is always doing things for others, helping others, she is so generous...I hope this helped her see how much she is loved.

Yesterday, several families went to hear our friend preach for the first time at his new church. He and his family have been in Illinois for the past couple of years. They will now be about 2 hours away and we will be able to see them as 0ften as we want. The people at their new church seem so warm and welcoming. They just had such a joy about them. Not only will my friends be closer, but it is awesome to know they will be at a place where they are genuinely loved. We were also celebrating his son's 13th birthday. (At 13, each child in our group of friends receives a special gift-a watch or jewelry-this has become a sort of rite of passage to the kids.)

When we pulled into the drive last night after our long day, my daughter spotted a young morning dove on the porch railing. We weren't sure if it was hurt, but we decided to leave it overnight. With all the emotions and the hectic pace we have maintained over the past couple weeks, we are a bit tender right now. The last thing I wanted was to have to deal with finding this poor creature dead in the morning. So I prayed one of those prayers...."Lord, You said that You know every sparrow that falls. Please take care of this little bird...because I need it. I need to know that You are aware that I am overwhelmed and tired and weary and dry. You taking care of this baby bird will help my faith...even though I have no right to ask, seeing all the things You have done for me...rescuing me and providing for me, ...even though You are sovereign and in Your perfect and just holiness have the right to determine the life of this baby bird and mine, outside of my whims and wishes and weakness....if You could...."

I checked on the bird in the dark hours of the early morning. I didn't know what condition it was in, but it was still sitting on the railing where we left it last night. I went about getting ready for the day. It was an hour later when I heard the distinct call of the parents. It was firm and loud and steady. And I heard God's voice calling to me. It was firm and loud and steady..."I am here. I have heard you. Do not fear."

As I left for work, the parents were next to the baby, caring for it. My daughter called me later to update me. The baby was now in the landscape rocks. She thought we should name it. Without hesitation I said, "Faith, we should name it Faith!"

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. Matthew 10:29

Rachel took these pics of Faith.

A LITTLE BLESSING

Yesterday the CD player in my car went haywire. My daughter had put in one of her CD's and when she tried to remove it...the player read"CD ERROR & switched over to the radio. We tried other CD slots & the same thing happened. Over and over. No success. No matter what we tried.

I was not happy. First of all, it looked like several of my favorite CD's were now trapped. Secondly, I often listen to a CD in the car as a time of worship and praise to my Lord. Thirdly, I didn't have any extra cash, so....getting the CD player working would be considered a luxury and not a need, therefore...off my list of things to spend money on. I decided I would just have to get over it.

This morning during my prayer time, my focus was on some others...one friend was in labor, another friend was on an important trip, still another who is going through a difficult time. Almost as an afterthought I mentioned the CD player to God. I spent as much time as a blink of the eye on that.

When I got into the car to go to work, I thought "Well, I will give it another try and see what happens." As soon as I hit the CD button, out popped my daughter's CD. I tried the other CD slots and all my CD's and play functions were normal!!!

With all the wonderful blessings that God has provided today...the really important things:

-My friends have a beautiful son,

-My other friend's important trip is going very well,

-My still another friend is finding comfort,

-My daughter who is always a blessing, even when she thinks I am mad at her,

-And a thousand other things and people that fill my life...

God reached down and added just a tiny, but much appreciated addition to my blessing box.

Image taken from here.

I'M DONE

Mine were done last month. Before Christmas, I discovered that my mom's 2004 return hadn't been filed by her tax guy.....so, we got her all caught up this weekend. Hooray!

SOME AMAZING PICS

Check out the pics for the 4/7 post...Patience is a virtue.

http://takinganewroad.blogspot.com/

HE'S ALIVE!

Image originally lifted from Richard's blog last fall.

THE CENTURION by Dan McNamara

I know men. As a young man, I entered the ranks of the Roman Imperial Army. Rome had expanded itself from a fishing village on the tidewater to the greatest empire the world had ever known. To the farthest corners of the earth was brought a civilization of marble temples, coliseums, roads, bridges, and aqueducts. With it came philosophy, education, Roman gods, Roman law....Roman justice. Rome became the world and the world became Rome. I've known men, petty and small, struggling for her power as Rome sank in despotism.
In cruelty and arrogance, the Roman Legions blundered into Palestine and laid the dust of battle in a sea of blood. She had tried to subdue a people with a history and civilization more ancient than her own. In Rome's lust for power it had grabbed a thorn. We were the strange invaders in a strange land, far away from home. We were hated more than ever when we marched into Jerusalem, bringing the new procurator, Pontius Pilate. We were in constant peril from zealot cowards who would strike and run. It fell upon us to stop these rebellions at all costs. So, we turned the hills of Judea into a forest of crosses and dying men.
All that I ever knew and believed in was shattered one dark day as I arrived at the Great Judgment Hall of Pilate and saw a man being scourged. They said his name was Jesus. I remembered listening in disbelief to all the miracle stories of him that were told up and down the countryside. The "Son of God" they called him, a "man of mercy". And now this man was being unjustly accused by the temple priests of a meaningless charge. Some of my men saw it as a chance to strike back at these Jews. They lashed him with a fierceness and fury I'd seldom seen before. They seemed frenzied as they beat him with their hands and spat on him, calling him "King of the Jews". Emerging from this blind rage was a marred shadow of a man. And yet, he was strangely silent, as though some purpose was set before him. And silent still, as we led him away to be crucified. A strange throng had gathered as he was nailed to the wood, some hating and some mourning. I began to see that this man, Jesus, was very different.
I've know men in the carnage of battle. I've seen them fallen, dying in bitterness of soul, cursing their enemies in the name of their gods. But this man...this Jesus...was no common man. I watched him there, his naked body, tortured and bleeding, his mouth cracked and dried for thirst. He cried for mercy for these enemies and said, "Father forgive them. They do not know what they do." I, who had glorified justice and scorned mercy, now saw the strength of this man, forsaken by God and by man, who asked nothing for himself. I was astonished.! But that strange crowd of mockers and haters seemed not to notice this one, so noble, so righteous.
Most bewildering of all was when, for the last time, he lifted himself on the wood and cried, "It is finished...Father, into your hands I commend my spirit!" He bowed his head and then gave up his spirit. I tell you I know men. Of all the men that have ever died, when could it be said that a man had power over his own death? That a man could simply die at will? I've watched many hang on this Roman instrument of torment. For days they would plead for the mercy of death. Only this man had power to lay it down of himself!
In deepest sorrow of heart, I knew I had consented silently to death of innocence. Suddenly, as darkness filled the skies and the earth began to tremble, I was compelled. His power and virtue were far beyond the weakness of men. I said, "Truly this was the Son of God!"

When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, "Truly this was the Son of God!" Matthew 27:54

Image taken from here.

IN CASE YA DIDN'T KNOW IT.....

I LOVE MY KID!

HOLDING GRUDGES

I had lunch today with an old friend. We have only seen each other occassionally over the past several years and in settings that didn't really allow us to "catch up". We talked about life and as we were getting ready to get in our cars she said something to the affect of "I have wondered if we were Ok?" You see, each of us was on a different side of a line that had been drawn in the sand. And in all these years, when we saw each other--we hugged, talked the usual small talk, but never talked about "it"..."the incident"...."the thing" that had caused us to choose a side.

Her question and the following conversation that ensued surprised me. I guess I had never wondered or imagined that she had given this very much thought over the years. And it surprised me even more to hear the feelings she shared, some of the same feelings and thoughts that my side of the camp had voiced. It seemed as if both camps had moved on and at the points where there has been an intersection, things have appeared to me to be cautious perhaps, but fine overall.

And now I am sitting here thinking...I don't be a grudge holder-I have to admit that I can be really, really good at it...a professional actually. But, anymore, I don't want someone to have to ask me, "Are we Ok?" I think I am going to start searching out those stone walls I have built between myself and another, and start smashing them down.

Maybe, we can take those grudge bricks and together, build them into something beautiful for our King

Image taken from here.

I SUCK

i have been a Christ follower for a long, long, long time....& i still screw up. aaarrrgggghhhh! :-O

i sure am happy that i have forgiveness & compassion from my Jesus. :-)

i sure do feel sad for those who are affected by my screw-ups. :-(

Image taken from here.