SO, THIS IS WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON....

Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and encouragement.

We have kind of gotten our routine down. Every morning, I get my mom up and going. She needs assistance w/ her toileting. We have her wear a diaper now. I have to help her get dressed b/c she can't figure out how to get her clothes on and off. She wants to be waited on and I know she gets mad when I make her do things for herself. Or, if we don't respond to her requests quickly enough. Part of me wishes I could take the phone away from her. She makes all these weird calls. One day, she called the phone company to see if I changed her phone number and address while she was in the nursing home. When she gets a recording she talks to the recording like it was a real person..."Okay, I am going to press 3...alright, I just pressed the number". Some stuff is funny and makes us laugh. Some stuff has me worried. I came home the other day to find that she had a couple of blisters on her index finger. I checked and there was nothing on the stove, the microwave was unplugged just as I left it...then I noticed the coffee. I forgot to pour her coffee into a cup before I left in the morning. I am sure she tried to reach for it and burned her finger. Yesterday, I had pulled a couple hamburger patties out of the freezer to make for her dinner. When I went to cook them, they were gone. I asked her where they were. She had eaten the raw patties. In the nursing home, she complained that they gave her too much food. At home, she eats constantly. I make her breakfast, she gets "Meals on Wheels", I leave out a couple snacks (fruit, popcorn, granola bars) and she has it all eaten before lunchtime. We are learning to not argue with her or try to reason with her if at all possible. Sometimes she knows she sounds looney. Other times, she thinks we are crazy and unreasonable and even mean.

As hard as this is for me, I know it is more difficult for her. She was always an independent person. She is often aware that she is becoming disoriented. She is living in her own home but her choices and issues related to self-determination are being whittled away, faster and faster. She is the parent who gets told what to do and when, by her children. Her home and life have been invaded. She can't be trusted to spend her own money and I only leave her with a few dollars at a time.

Yesterday, I cried. I was just feeling overwhelmed and the pressure of never being caught up with her needs, of the craziness of some of her behaviors, of being pulled and pressed on every front. So, I rested. And have more strength for this new day.

On another front, I am taking an actual lunch today!!! And I am planning on trying to get caught up on your lives and read your blogs. Whoo hoo!

Also, my wonderful, beautiful, loving, fun, intelligent, musical daughter turned 17 years old last week!

Ok, here I go to read your blogs........................