My mom has been in a nursing home for rehab since the beginning of April. She has been in and out in the past recovering from some thing or another. This is the first time we weren't sure she would be coming home. Even now, we are not sure that she should be coming home, but I want to try at least one more time. Things might not work out.
This morning I stopped in to drop off her laundry. During my visits, I have noticed that she is looking more and more like a nursing home resident and less and less like my mom. She has periodic episodes of confusion and forgetfulness. She tests out as mildly to moderately disoriented. She is having more trouble recalling words and expressing herself. We have had to keep her microwave at home unplugged for a while now because she keeps setting things on fire. So, when I stopped in, I mentioned that I was getting things ready for her to come home in a week or two....she has new windows on her house, flowers in the front, freshly painted and tiled bathroom. She looked up at me from her wheelchair, her blue blue eyes filling with tears, and she started to cry. "I am? I am coming home? I get to see the kids and my cat?" It broke my heart.
I have been wondering if I was doing the right thing. She has alot of friends at the nursing home and stays pretty busy during the day. She has all the help she needs. She has no chance to burn something in the microwave. It would be easier for all of us. But this morning I knew....one more time, maybe only one day or one week...who knows how long we can manage...but one more time to come home and see her cat and her house and her things before she is consigned to becoming a nursing home resident.
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7 comments:
Lord, I ask that You open the door wide open for Kaymac's mom. Lord, if only for a short time let them enjoy their time together. Let it be a time of great joy and great stories and great memories. Lord, I ask this of you all the time, but bless my friend like crazy.
Your words burn right through my heart - I can feel what you are feeling. One more day....even one more day may be a gift beyond measure. You are so precious, your mother is blessed to have you care for her.
Thats super sad, it reminds me of the Notebook. Except its real. I hope your mom does well at home. And I totally miss you guys. I need to get my butt back over there to visit. Love ya!
oh kathy, my heart breaks for you. you are such a woman of God. my hero.
Bless your heart. How hard would that be, but you are doing what you feel you have to do. I will be praying for you as she comes home and while she is there. You are a brave and courageous woman, but a woman with lots of love for Mom! God bless you as you endeavor to love her and care for her once again.
It is hard to watch your parents grow old and fade away.
I remember years ago noticing that my parents suddenly looked older. And then when my mother had cancer, it was hard to watch her becoming frail. Watching her fade in the last week of life was very difficult.
Whether your mom is better off in a nursing home, or in her own home, or with her children is difficult to say because it depend son her needs. What is most important is that she is loved and appreciated, supported and encouraged. Not just in words, not just in the privacy of your own heart, but in the life you share with her.
All too often, in our society, we do not do what is best for the care and dignity of the person, but what is most convenient for us.
I pray she gains strength and clarity of mind.
Oh K...that is so amazing...the things we do for love..yes?
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