This afternoon, my daughter went to lunch with her grandmother, my ex-husband's mother. She texted me to tell me that she just found out that her dad recently went to France. (His new wife's daughter and grandchild live in France.) I haven't talked to her yet, but I know my daughter is devastated. Her dad never calls her. He left the freakin' country and never told her. He visited a country that she dreams of visiting and never told her.
I am out in dispatch and trying to hold back the tears. I switch between finding it hard to breathe and wanting to throw up...I am so so soooo angry. Because he does this over and over. And I have to stand here and watch it happen. I can't protect her from this.
I know she has me and I am a great mom. I know that God is going to use this for good in her life and make something wonderful out of it. I know that she will survive. I know that when I see her in a little while, I will love her and point her back to Jesus. And she will continue to love and forgive her dad.
But for right now...I want to fight. I want to take him down. I want to make him a better dad. I want to hold him accountable for every tear he has made her cry.
Image taken from here.