Sometimes for me it has been a place. Most people don't know this, but when I was very young, I was incredibly shy. So shy that when we were expecting visitors, I would watch for them at the living room window-hardly containing my excitement. When they arrived, I would go hide in my bedroom closet or under the bed-no one could coax me out. My grandparent's house was another of my safe places-It always gave me a sense of peace, a sense of comfort. Church has often been safe place for me. Slipping into my seat, listening, or singing, or just being quiet. When I was going through my divorce, I used to curl up in bed, pulling the covers tight, hiding from life.
Sometimes for me it has been people. My brother, Mike, is one of them. When I have a problem or am upset-I call him, or we get together, or he shows up to offer help. When my husband came to tell me that I would be served with divorce papers the following day, I left my house...afraid to have my daughter see the breakdown I knew was coming. I ran to my friends-and was in as vulnerable and broken a state, physically and spiritually, as I have ever allowed another human to see me in....before or since.
A bed, a closet, a pew, a people. Last night, I couldn't wait to get home to the safest place of all for me. I needed to be alone with God. I poured out my heart to Him. I wept. I asked Him so many questions. I laid my broken heart before Him and pointed..."Look, these are my wounds. These are my hurts. This is my devestation. " Deep. I brought Him into the deepest parts of my grief.
And now I wait for His answers to my questions. I wait, perhaps for His correction. I wait for His healing. I wait for His insight. But I am calm now as I wait...because I know I wait in the safety of Him.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,my fortress;
I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
Image taken from here.