Tuesday, April 03, 2007

HOLDING GRUDGES

I had lunch today with an old friend. We have only seen each other occassionally over the past several years and in settings that didn't really allow us to "catch up". We talked about life and as we were getting ready to get in our cars she said something to the affect of "I have wondered if we were Ok?" You see, each of us was on a different side of a line that had been drawn in the sand. And in all these years, when we saw each other--we hugged, talked the usual small talk, but never talked about "it"..."the incident"...."the thing" that had caused us to choose a side.

Her question and the following conversation that ensued surprised me. I guess I had never wondered or imagined that she had given this very much thought over the years. And it surprised me even more to hear the feelings she shared, some of the same feelings and thoughts that my side of the camp had voiced. It seemed as if both camps had moved on and at the points where there has been an intersection, things have appeared to me to be cautious perhaps, but fine overall.

And now I am sitting here thinking...I don't be a grudge holder-I have to admit that I can be really, really good at it...a professional actually. But, anymore, I don't want someone to have to ask me, "Are we Ok?" I think I am going to start searching out those stone walls I have built between myself and another, and start smashing them down.

Maybe, we can take those grudge bricks and together, build them into something beautiful for our King

Image taken from here.

7 comments:

Richard said...

I don't understand grudges, the holding of things against another. You say it, you do it, you get over it. End of story. But ... I should point out, I am good at remembering. Interestingly, most people prefer to forget and get upset when you remember something. I never use it to stick a person's nose in, but as a fact (i.e. without emotion), but ... people don't seem to like that.

Musical Smartypants said...

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KayMac said...

Richard: yeah, the getting over it part can be tough for some of us...esp when the stuff we said should have never left our mouths ;-) Great discipline on your part to not mix up the emotional w/ the remembering...that's coming from me...an eMOTer! lol

Smarty: Girl...you are making me afraid. I will act as your conscience. lol

Jada's Gigi said...

Good for you! its a big thing not to hold grudges against another especially when we've been hurt but time does heal if we let it and bringing things gently out into the open is always a sure fire route to healing even if painful at the time. I now its been the case for me.

hippieange83 said...

I wouldn't know anything about this, since I have never ever held a grudge (for more than 3 years.)

Arlene said...

I know that we aren't supposed to hold grudges either and I try not to. However, in the past, I find it is so much easier for me to hold it than my husband. He has been there for me and walked me through some things that I wish I would have been strong enough not to have gone through. I do believe men do not hold grudges likes women do. Thank God for His grace and forgiveness!

Margie said...

great post. I am like you, if I chose to, I could hold a grudge forever.