Thursday, July 06, 2006


I was talking recently with someone who was struggling to get through the holiday now that she is divorced. The traditions, the places they would go, they people they used to spend the holiday with are all gone. Divorce is "a tearing apart, ripping assunder, severing" something that once was. That leaves one incomplete. Not whole. Changed. Handicapped.
A person needs a healing and adjustment period. A time for God and others to step in and minister. You can't rush that. You can't just get over it. You have to walk through it. It takes time, longer than most of us prefer. And then there is adjustment...learning to do new things and learning to do old things a new way, learning to do without, learning to function, and most of all, to learning to live despite the loss. Imagine, if you will, a person who has had an arm amputated. There will be the time needed to heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There is also the relearning of simple things like how to eat, and dress, and drive. It is the same for divorce, only you can't see the injury.
There are usually two responses I see to this. One, we want it fixed. Two, we don't want others to know so we hide our handicap. But there is a third response we need to wholly and wonderfully incomplete. The reality is--I have never met a complete person. I have only met people who are marred and scarred by life. So, what if we learn to embrace our incompleteness? What if God is glorified and it falls within His plan for us to remain incomplete?
Here is what I mean...I watched a show once about a woman who was born without any arms. She cooked, took care of her baby, drove a car, did all kinds of things by using her feet. She caught my attention and I was amazed and inspired by her life. So, what if you and I catch the attention of broken people everywhere, by living wonderfully incomplete, causing them to ask "How do you do it?" We can point them to Jesus Christ and help them learn how to live an abundant life, gloriously and wonderfully incomplete!
God promised that one day we would be perfected. When we are in His presence. That is His promise and our hope. But until that day comes...if you can't see...I will be your eyes...if I can't walk...can I lean on you?

Please be praying for the divorce recovery group I am a part of! Appreciate it!


tina fabulous said...

intriguing post!

i cant relate to this exact scenario, but i feel you. a loss that huge is not easy to bounce back from.
heres how i look at it... completion can only occur when one has reached a state of perfection. when we vainly attempt to achieve it on our own, which we obviously cant do, we begin placing conditions on our own happiness... "i'll be happy if blah blah blah"... instead of taking time to chill in God and letting those who love us take care of whatever needs they can.
like your arm amputation analogy... we wouldnt just sit there crying as we stare at our severed appendage. we get immediate attention from qualified professionals.
God- a shot of morphine after the chainsaw massacres of life. :D

KayMac said...

Exactly! No one of us is in that state of perfection. And it is easy to forget that God IS IN THE CENTER of all the stuff of life. And there is def one thing I have learned i'll be happy if blah blah blah"...will never happen if we cannot find peace and joy in the here and now.

Becky said...

kaymac-i like the blah blah blah's. they're probrably the most peaceful and joyful...

Margie said...

I feel very insightful today... I think if we lean on the Lord, we have Enough, it's like the song by my future hubby, Enough. 'All of You is more than enough for all of me For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough'.

Personally, when I feel empty, it's because I am not counting my blessings, and leaning on God like I should.