I am so "not cool". How can I be considered cool or wise when my mouth betrays me? When I accidently say to a customer, "I'm sorry, it's my fart" instead of "it's my fault"? Or, when I am speaking to a women's group and am trying to make these deep spiritual points and say stuff like, "It was difficult back in the day when virgins got pregnant" or "...the King of Cereal" instead of "...the King of Syria". Or turning to my daughter after singing all the words to a song from her station and proudly saying, "Know how I knew all those words? That was a REVERB!" followed by those confusing moments that pass between us until she identifies that I really meant to say "remix".
Or how about this visual in the work setting....trying to be all professional and then having someone point out that I have toilet paper sticking out of the back of my pants? Happened today, and it has happened before, and I fear...that it WILL happen again.
Once, I was in the drive-through at McDonald's and noticed that the woman in the car behind me was getting rather impatient. I shrugged my shoulders and was trying to communicate in gestures that the long wait wasn't my fart...er, fault because noone was taking my order. I must have also commented out loud because my daughter said to me, "Ummmmm, mom....did you know that is the hood of the trash and not the order speaker?" Poor lady! I am sorry that it took us even longer, because I couldn't drive from laughing so hard.
Yes, I would be the person who's picture was taken receiving the Publisher's Clearing House multi-million dollar check with a huge smile and something stuck in between her two front teeth. Or the person who would trip while walking up to receive a distinguished award from the President of the United States.
I am just not cool. I am not sophisticated. But, I am old enough to stop trying to be cool. And, more importantly, I am old enough to enjoy my uncoolness. It just makes for so much fun, don't you think!!!