My mom has been in a nursing home for rehab since the beginning of April. She has been in and out in the past recovering from some thing or another. This is the first time we weren't sure she would be coming home. Even now, we are not sure that she should be coming home, but I want to try at least one more time. Things might not work out.
This morning I stopped in to drop off her laundry. During my visits, I have noticed that she is looking more and more like a nursing home resident and less and less like my mom. She has periodic episodes of confusion and forgetfulness. She tests out as mildly to moderately disoriented. She is having more trouble recalling words and expressing herself. We have had to keep her microwave at home unplugged for a while now because she keeps setting things on fire. So, when I stopped in, I mentioned that I was getting things ready for her to come home in a week or two....she has new windows on her house, flowers in the front, freshly painted and tiled bathroom. She looked up at me from her wheelchair, her blue blue eyes filling with tears, and she started to cry. "I am? I am coming home? I get to see the kids and my cat?" It broke my heart.
I have been wondering if I was doing the right thing. She has alot of friends at the nursing home and stays pretty busy during the day. She has all the help she needs. She has no chance to burn something in the microwave. It would be easier for all of us. But this morning I knew....one more time, maybe only one day or one week...who knows how long we can manage...but one more time to come home and see her cat and her house and her things before she is consigned to becoming a nursing home resident.