HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRIET POTTER!

Today is Beatrix Potter's birthday. My post's title says Harriet Potter. That will make my daughter laugh. I often confuse words and names, making for some confusing and humorous moments. As was the time when I brought home a movie about "Harriet Potter" for Rachel to watch once when she was sick. Worse, we had already watched the movie but I forgot!
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We love Beatrix Potter's work. My brother gave my daughter 2 boxed sets of her books when she was very young. Later, my mom gave her a set of tapes...the books brought to life! The artwork was captivating. The stories charming. She read these books over and over. She was transported to a world of wonder. We have these treasures boxed and set aside with her most cherished items from her youth.
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So thank you, "Harriet" Beatrix Potter. You have brought countless hours of joy and fertilized the fields of imagination in numerous young minds. God definitely gifted you with creativity. Rachel and I are glad you were born!
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Read more about Beatrix at the site I got the image from.

UPDATES

My daughter has returned from the far corners of the world...well, from Kansas. It is funny, but somehow that week she changed and returned to me more of an adult than she was before. She was able to visit some museums and had a replica of King Richard, the Lion-Hearted's sword shipped home. I must admit, it is beautiful. And further proof that my daughter marches to the beat of her own drummer. No clothes, no shoes, no jewelry, no typical 18 year old purchases while out of town...but a sword. I have always enjoyed that about her.

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I have to find a new time to blog. I used to take my lunches to catch up and post. But I rarely take a lunch at work now. I haven't had any further issues with my gall bladder. I am working really hard at eating and exercise...just trying to keep as healthy as possible.

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My mom hasn't had any further issues that could have put her in the hospital. However, she continues to become more disoriented. I am really working with her diet as well, hoping that will give her the best opportunity for staying at her home. Yesterday she asked me if I knew who all the people were in the photographs that I had in her living room. They are all pictures of family, her parents, her children, her grandchildren. Sigh. I have a degree in Gerontology and had worked for 20 plus years in long term care, so I know what to do and what to expect. But, it doesn't lessen the sadness that I feel for her. The good news is, she is still very much aware and connected to her cat. So when I hear her talking to her cat every morning, I remain convinced, that despite all her other issues, I have made the best choices for her. She is happy to be in her own home. With her cat.

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I want to end with a Quote of the Day that I didn't get to post yet:

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"Did you say ASPERGAS?"

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Image taken from here.

THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER REVISTED

The graduation party was incredible! After it was all over, Rachel and I prayed together and just thanked God for the many loving people has brought into our lives. We felt surrounded by God's love. My family and closest friends helped with the food and my moment of panic when the circuits kept blowing and we couldn't get the food warmed. I think my eyes glazed over and when I came to...the food was ready! (Did I mention that they also cleaned up afterward?) Also, there was no brawling. My husband's mother, who has barely been able to stand being in the same vicinity as me, actually talked to me and gave me a number of hugs! God is truly good.

The morning after, I took my daughter to meet her dad for their trip to the airport. She will return from Kansas next Tuesday. Tomorrow is her 18th birthday and I still feel sad that we will be apart. I have sent her a couple of cards and have a present for her to open hidden in her luggage.

Last Thursday, my mom had some health problems. Thought we would end up in the ER. We still may.

Monday, I think I had a gall bladder attack.

So, mostly good stuff....and a bit of the difficult.

EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

I am finishing up a few things before I am off from work the rest of the week. Saturday, we will celebrate my daughter's graduation from high school. A number of broken relationships will be reunited there. Either God will be glorified in all of these lives....or it will be a glorious brawl! I will let you know what happens.

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On Sunday, my daughter will leave with her dad to visit his home in Kansas. I already miss her. I already worry that he will take good care of her. I know this will be a good thing for her relationship with him, that she is growing up and will have plenty of adventures of her own...but the mom in me is still strong. As she learns independence, I will learn to let go.

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She will turn 18 while she is away. I have never been apart from her on her birthday. I won't like that. Neither will she. We are truly best friends. For that, I am very grateful.

Image taken from here.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Question: Do you want to go to the store?

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Answer: "Heave 'er up an' away we'll go!"

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Image taken from here.

TODAY IS NOT MONDAY....

For some reason, I keep thinking it is Monday...or maybe it just feels like a Monday. My brain knows it is Wednesday. Yesterday, one of the new drivers I was training kept thinking it was Monday. Maybe I caught something from him? LOL

Image taken from here.

WAS THAT WHIZZER WHIZZING BY?

My neighbors have a white dog named Whizzer. Yeah, I don't think he got that name for being fast. They have asked several times(and I don't believe they were kidding) if we were perhaps looking for a dog. One day I saw Whizzer running down the street and was able to entice him to me with some very splendid dog treats. When I returned him, his owners clipped him to a leash INSIDE the house. I thought this very strange until I heard stories about their "wireless" fence and many other failed attempts to keep Whizzer in his own yard.

A week or so later, as I stood over a counter preparing some things for my mom's daily rituals, I saw a very tired, white dog hurrying home in the early morning hours. Was it? Why yes, it was Whizzer. That was the first of many mornings I have watched Whizzer returning from his canine adventures, tongue lolling to the side, laboured breathing...but definitely a look of smug satisfaction on his whiskered face.

This makes me laugh. I look for Whizzer every morning now, hoping to witness this triumphant truant returning in all his glorious splendor. I don't know why this makes me feel happy....but it does.

Image taken from here.

CONFESSION

Sooooooo....I mentioned my co-worker, Jill in my last post. And how she was touching the lives of others. I was telling my daughter about her. And I said, "Man, I want to be a part of God's story like that." Several weeks ago, I shared with a group of friends that I felt like I didn't want "it to be over" when it came to ministry and ministering. That I have this deep longing to be doing something but I just don't see or know what that is. In the past I very much felt God's focus and direction and call.

And yesterday I was mulling this all over. And two things God said to me:

1. He has placed me in a position to serve. But it is one I don't like. That of taking care of my mother. Our roles basically reversed when I was around 12 years old. I became the caretaker. She was broken in spirit by her divorce. And later, broken in body and resigned to a wheelchair. I take care of her most private of personal needs. I have been doing this for so long and I frequently resent it. Oh, sometimes I see the picture clearly. I see all this as an answer to her prayers. I see it as a way to minster in a Mother Theresa-esque way. Caring for the sick. But honestly, most of the time I see it as a burden and I dream of the days I can escape. And I often minster in the most joyless manner. I am not telling this so you can feel sorry for me. I am asking for your prayers so I can be strong in what I have been called to and strong enough to repent of the resentment and bitterness that I give way to. Really, I don't want advice....I just need your prayers.

2. He has put opportunities in my path...but I have stopped watching for them...missing them completely. And He brought opportunity after opportunity to my mind. Ahhh, how could I have walked right by that one? This one, it didn't even register. Yesterday I was determined to be very deliberate about watching. And there they came, opportunities that I could act on. Not for a pat on the back. Not to be busy. But how can I explain....just to be a part of Jesus and His work on this earth...it is fulfilling, it is holy, it is an honor that I don't deserve but again, one I am thankful for. Again, please pray for me. That I can pause from my self-focus to see others...to answer the call when my Lord sends it out.

I have been the pontificator. I have been the theorizer too self-absorbed to be moved to action. My heart has been filled with self-pity. That is NOT what I want to offer to a holy God.

image taken from here.

WHAT IMPRESSES ME.....

1. True Leaders....because it is a mighty thing to have people want to follow you.
2. Peace Makers....it is an easier road to sow conflict. A much harder way to delicately navigate conflict with wisdom and righteousness.
3. My co-worker, Jill. She does not pontificate. She does not theorize. She just washed 14 loads of laundry for someone who did not have a washer. She has made countless blankets for the poor. She bought a suit for a child who was graduating at the top of his class but did not own a suit. She delivered several dressers to families nearby after brokering them from a storage facility for a very reasonable price. All this in the name of Jesus and within the last two weeks.
4. Artists and writers and musicians. Because they capture what beats in our hearts but often finds no adequate way of expression.
5. The Generous....who have unwrapped their fingers from self and material gain and in turn, have met the real needs of others.
6. Seekers....who do not boast of knowing all truth...but commit to the journey of discovery beyond themselves, and in their journey, teach others.
7. The Simple....who often in their simplicity, live profoundly.
8. Old People who still hold hands and old women who still blush at a compliment from their aged lovers.
9. Creation....the vastness, the diversity, the expression and the unexplainable....more than enough to ponder and wonder about for a life time and forever.
10. The Creator...who is and was and is to come.

I PEED MY PANTS YESTERDAY.....

....well, I almost did. My daughter and I were going through her memory box picking out pictures and awards to display for her graduation party. We read some of the stories she wrote in 1st grade. Oh my, oh my. We had a hysterically good time.

She has truly been a gift to me...a gift from God. Filling my life with laughter, with joy, and with love!

picture taken from here.

THE RANDOM AND THE NOT SO RANDOM

1. Last week, I had two training classes going...one here at my office in Detroit and the other in Grand Rapids. I enjoyed the Grand Rapids group the most...we fit in quite a few laughs. But I have to admit that I am exhausted. Mentally.
2. This post, Tappers, is quite intriguing. I have come back to it over and over. "Starting today, I want to remember that everyone else isn’t hearing the tune. Today I want to be a more understanding tapper." I have been applying this to so many areas of my life. Like looking through a new pair of glasses, yes? Seeing things differently is causing me to live differently.
3. Yesterday, my daughter and I watched The Great Debaters. She commented that this took place "not that long ago". My mom was 7 years old. White, and living in the "North". I wonder if my grandparents listened to these debates? I wonder what they would have thought? I never heard any racial or ethnic slurs or jokes or plain ol' offhand comments from them or my mom. I hope my family would have been among those who gave a standing ovation. Needless to say, it is now my turn to make sure the "applause" continues to echo.
4. While watching the movie together, my daughter made some slight gesture...just a slight pat on the arm...but it left me with this HUGE impression of how much she loves me. Have I told you that she is graduating from high school and turns 18 in a couple of weeks? While she will always be my baby, and has grown into my best friend...I will miss the girl she has been. A part of me is feeling quite melancholy about the whole thing.
5. At the end of working around the yard and house on Saturday, a friend and I lit a fire in my backyard fire pit. When the flames ignited, it was that kind of whooshing fire, that grows big quite quickly and burns quite hot. As we sat there in the quiet of the early evening, the sky still blue, the birds still chirping away, that kind of whooshing fire swept over me. Right in the center of the stillness and quiet, my heart was taken away by thoughts of the greatness of God, and the loving burn of His presence. My friend talked on, but I was very still. I just wanted to be. Quiet. With Him.
6. Later, I went to poke at the fire with my fire stick. One must have a good fire stick when tending a fire. I guard mine well. I sat back down quite hard in my lawn chair, and continued to go back, back back...until I stopped quite suddenly with my feet up in the air and my back against the cold earth. Ouch! It hurt but I had to laugh at what I must have looked like, and it was quite a few minutes before I could find a way to get myself out of that chair. It is times like these that remind me not to take myself too seriously.

Enough, I need to get back to work. My desk is a site...all kinds of projects sitting there waiting for my attention. I really hope your Monday is a good one!

NICELY DONE H!

My "adopted" son, Jon w/ no H, posted an excellent series on the life and times of Indiana Jones.

You will want to read it!

Nicely done, Jon!!

Image taken from Jon's blog. I have no idea where he got it from.

This story never gets old for me. I have read or heard it retold dozens of times. And it still has the same impact for me. That of horror and wonder. And hope.

Horror because I see myself in the characters. The Accusers-How quick I am to point the finger. How self righteous I often am. How smug. How unloving. How superior. The Missing Partner-How easy it is for me to think I am hiding my sins. Noone will ever know. The Bystanders-Ah, the grisly fascination of watching someone else's train wreck. How often I have waited to see punishment meted out. Or the cowardice of standing by those times when I, also, own the guilt. The Woman-Me. I see me. I see me.

Wonder because of Jesus. He is so smart. And unpredictable. You can't back Him into a corner. You can't mold Him into your own expectation of Messiah God. You can't trip Him up. What DID He write in the sand? After all these years, He is still so approachable and yet such a mystery.

And Hope. I can drop those stones I have picked up. My death sentence has been purchased. My slate swept clean...time and time again. And I can be changed. And those eyes...His eyes...can see me as pure, and clean, and lovely!

Image taken from here.

AN OVERVIEW

(Image taken by me...not as technologically creative as Richard.)

Since I last posted in February:

1. I bought myself several books to read. One I read in 2 days...It was the Pride and Prejudice story from Mr. Darcy's viewpoint. The last three chapters were missing. It took me about 3 weeks to get a corrected version. I tried to get help from one sales clerk. Clearly, being of the male orientation, he did not fully appreciate my delimma. In fact, he thought it was rather humorous. The sales clerk that waited on me when I received my corrected version laughed as well. Because I found a chair and read the rest of the book before leaving the store. Another book, Born on a Blue Day , was fascinating and intriguing. And humbling. It gave me a glimpse of the vast greatness of Creator God. I am so simple. He is so amazing.

2. I implemented some new training techniques at work. They have worked out amazingly well. We also identified a whole new slew of trainers within our organization resulting in a much improved orientation for newbees. And little time for me...lol.

3. We have felt God moving us....well, I hope it is God because I have credited it to Him...for moving us from our faith community. We have visited a number of churches and communities and as of yet, have not gotten the nod, spiritually speaking, on settling in anywhere. I am parched for a Christian community of my own. I feel so welcomed at a number of places...but like I said...we are waiting for the nod. I hope it comes soon. If not, I hope I am patient.

4. I sprained my ankle in January. It has just now started to feel better.

5. I turned 50 last month. I am not sure how I feel about this, or even how it happened. I still feel like a kid. Well, most days that is (please see #4). I tried to play it down and warned my family that there would be NO "over the hill" parties. My office was lovingly decorated, tho (thanks Amy, Madison, and Tyler!)

6. I have missed reading blogs and writing posts. It is interesting how cathartic this can be and how connected I feel to people, some of whom I have never met.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Overheard on WJR radio sometime after February 14th (paraphrasing by me):

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Denny McLain: "This has been my worst week ever!"

Announcer: "Why is that?"

Denny McLain: "Because I forgot Halloween!"

Announcer and entire radio audience: "????????"

Finally the Announcer: "Do you mean Valentine's Day?"
Denny McClain: "Yeah, Valentine's Day."

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Me: Any wonder why he is in the dog house? Or could this be a Freudian slip? Perhaps it was the flowers he sent to his wife?

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My imagination just can't stop with this one.

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Image taken from here.

CONNECTED

Tonight my daughter and I stood out on the front porch, eyes to the sky. We were there to see a total lunar eclipse. It was silent except for our quiet exchanges. Our breath swirled misty around us in the freezing cold. Then voices burst our solitude, as front doors swung open up and down the block, with parents and blanket wrapped children joining our revery. I thought about the link that joined us, each family seperate yet connected, to see this display in the heavens.

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My mind turned to another connection. The many of us who were thinking about Arlene and her family. Today was the day that God called Arlene home. I wondered how many of those who were linked to Arlene were thinking about her, sharing these same seconds with me. I also wondered if they were recalling that Wednesdays had become the day we set aside to pray for her. I wondered if they thought, as I was, how God's fingerprints were all over this day, all over this event of the eclipse...just as they were all over the things in Arlene's life that made her special...that drew us to her.

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Connected...in life...in love...in friendship...in faith.

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Image taken from here.

TAGGED

My friend Dave tagged me. (No apologies needed Dave!)

Here are the requests of the tag:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five other people.

"What if they are?" he said. "It don't change what you gotta do, Chick. You stay in those cages, work with your coaches, and be ready when the time comes..." from FOR ONE MORE DAY by Mitch Albom.

This is an interesting little book that I got from my brother for Christmas (I just started it...only a few chapters in). It's about a former World Series player who attempted suicide and lives. Albom is also author of TUESDAY'S WITH MORRIE and THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN. My favorite Albom book though was his Bo Schembechler biography. Albom is a sports writer in Detroit and is also known for writing a totally made up column included quotes from a player about winning a game....which might have never achieved any notariety if the team had not lost the game. (I may not have the details correct..it was a while ago and many of us have come to learn that this is not uncommon among sports writers. If Ray Barone did it, we would think it was funny.)

I met Mitch Albom once, before he authored a novel, and was just known as the favorite son of the Detroit sports world. I was a consultant for a long term care management firm and was coordinating a Wheelchair Olympics for nursing home residents from about 9 facilities in Michigan. We held it at Madonna University, which happens to be the school I graduated from. What I remember most about Albom, as I walked around the events with him, was that treated each nursing home resident with as much respect and enthusiasm as he has with professional athletes...perhaps even a bit more. I am not surprised that the man I met at this event is the man who authored TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE.

Dave, thanks for the tag. Unexpectedly, it brought back some great memories!

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED!!!! :-)

One more thing...I wish someone would say this about me - "[She] did nothing by half measures and never considered failure as a possible outcome. " It is a quote from a work by my friend, Richard, that is still in progress.

440....

.....the number of unread emails in my personal email.

I'M BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN!

My goal was to rejoin the Blogging World once we launched this huge account at work. The official launch has happened and I am looking forward to life returning to a slower pace.

Nothing too exciting going on with me, but here is the latest:

1. I went to the doc's yesterday because I fell and sprained my leg a month ago. It still hurts. He told me I need more time, keep an ace wrap on it, and quit wearing heals albeit short ones (lol).

2. I just read a very interesting book...quite a sleeper I must say.. ...Christ the Lord, Out of Egypt by Ann Rice. My daughter saw me reading this and said, "Ann Rice...doesn't she write about vampires?" Written in the first person, Rice explores what Jesus might have been thinking and experiencing as a child. Some great historical information is built in. But most interesting to me was what Rice had to say after, about how she ended up writing this book and her research/sources.

3. I feel like I am 100.

4. My office is a wreck.

5. I had my hair highlighted.

6. I was at a 1st birthday party on Sunday and I have never seen such a joyful, exuberant, happy little guy.

7. Having my mom's basement bathroom remodeled. Maybe I will show you some before and after pictures, but can I just say that the "before" was worse than a dungeon? The toilet has been pulled so the floor tiles can be put down.

8. My daughter remains my best friend.

9. I missed reading your thoughts, your happenings.

10. I WILL see you tomorrow!

image taken from here.

THE EYE OF THE STORM

I feel like I have been spinning plates.

A whole long row

Hurry, one is starting to wobble

Run and catch it before it topples....

Then comes the whisper of the Ancients

Through the sands of time

Calling, calling

"Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One..."

The longing starts

Deep and deeper still

"I hear you! The Lord our God.....

The Lord MY God!"

And I step inside leaving the chaos

No spinning plates

No sense of time

I find YOU, the One true God...inside the eye of the storm.

Image taken from here.