REMEMBERING 9-11

I was surprised that there has been very little September 11th talk at work today. Television and radio coverage has been extensive. People wondering, remembering, grieving, believing. It doesn't seem that 5 years have past already.

Five years ago this morning, I was a full time mom employed part time. My friend, Sandy, called and said "Turn on your TV!" I sat riveted and watched while the whole nation tried to figure out how this one plane happened to hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center. I was watching live when the second plane hit. News of the Pentagon attack was reported. I switched between TV and the computer as I talked to my friend Vicki on instant messenger, discussing each new bit of information that came across the news. I can still remember the horror as I watched and then typed, "Oh Vicki, the towers have collapsed!" Hard to believe that just a couple weeks before, my daughter, husband, and I, stood with our backs against the base of Tower Two...heads bent back looking straight up the side of the tower....and then in its place stood death and devestation.

Alot has changed in all our lives since then. I am now a full time, divorced mom employed full time. My friend Sandy has moved out of Michigan and we have to work very hard to stay connected. Vicki and I still discuss everything on instant messenger, but soon we won't work at the same company. I still get a knot in my stomach when I am on my way in to work near an airport, and see a low flying jet. I am surprised when I see an older movie that shows the Twin Towers as part of the New York skyline, and even more surprised when I see a new movie that shows the skyline missing those landmarks. I am more suspicious in some ways. At the same time, I am more anxious to see the wonder in people. I try to resolve conflicts more quickly and leave nothing unsaid between myself and those that I love. I live life more slowly and deliberately now. I am more purposeful. I am more patriotic. I am more mindful of police, and firemen, and emergency personnel. I can't say I pray more, but perhaps differently.

And I realize more acutely that while time, events, history, life, and death march on....God remains the same...as consistent and mighty and glorious and wondrous and caring and powerful and kind and generous and loving and just and merciful and tender and creative and safe and supreme and commanding and rescuing as He has always been and will forever be. There is nowhere else to place my trust, my hope, and my future.