The Other Side Of.......

VOTING

2010-11-02T15:15:00.004-05:00

Remember the old voting booths? You would walk into a small booth, the curtain would automatically close behind you, and then you would flip the lever next to your candidate's name?

Image taken from here.

STAR STRUCK

2010-11-01T15:21:00.003-05:00

I was recently telling a friend about the time I almost got to go to a birthday party at Stevie Wonder's place. The party was for the sister of Syreeta Wright, who he was married to at the time. My aunt and her grandmother were friends. I can't remember exactly why I couldn't go, but I have always regretted it. Can you imagine the bragging rights? To be able to say, "Oh yeah, that time I was at Stevie's house...."

I admit it. I am star struck. To be able to say that you know or have met a famous person, is a very cool thing. I remember when Magic Johnson was the Grand Marshall of the Detroit's Thanksgiving Day Parade back in '88. I had a friend who had an office right on Woodward. My brother and I were watching the parade from the second story balcony when I heard someone say, "That's Magic Johnson!" I yelled, "Hey Magic!" He looked right up at me and waved!

My sister-in-law loves to tell about the time she met Bill Clinton when she was on trip to New York. My friend had his picture taken with Rick Warren. A guy I go to church with has a picture with Ravi Zacharias that I am so jealous of, because I think I have bought all of Ravi's books!

What is it about meeting or seeing a famous person that makes us feel like WE are special? We are all like that, even if we hate to admit it. We all have a story of the famous person that intersected our life at some point. I think it must be the longing that each of has to BE special. To be significant. To matter. To belong. To create. To accomplish. To be recognized. To maybe simply be noticed.

The reality is...in Jesus Christ, we are special. We were created in the image of the Creator. We are significant because Jesus graciously and gloriously redeemed us by dying for our sins, and then rising victorious. The One who is worthy of all glory and honor and adoration, sets His eyes on us and sees us. Knows us.

I don't know about you, but that excites me more than anything. In the words of Stevie Wonder, it causes me to pray, "Lord...signed, sealed and delivered....I'm Yours!"

Image taken from here.

RENEWING VOWS - PART 2

2010-03-28T19:24:00.006-05:00

(In this pic Matthew, Tracey, Pastor Rob, Kyle, Michael)

I love weddings. It is always an honor to be invited to join the celebration as people you care about cross that portal from singleness into marriage. Being invited to share in the celebration of renewed marriage vows takes on a whole different level of special. There is something wondrous about witnessing couples who have lived the day to day of married life and say "I still choose you."

I have been to several vow renewals, each one a cherished memory. I remember sitting with my friend, Carole, in a salon as she was getting her hair done. She was surprising her husband. He thought he was officiating as my husband and I renewed our vows. I sat in the chair next to her as the hairdresser was styling her hair into a beautiful updo. I was transfixed as I watched her transforming from my dear friend, into a beautiful bride. I thought I had never seen her lovelier, until I saw her standing across from her adoring husband, a total expression of love and devotion radiating from her face. Breathtaking!

My sister-friend Tracey (that's her and her family in the photo above) can "out Martha" Martha Stewart. I have seen her fashion beautiful roses from toilet paper (during a shower game!) She always adds these incredible touches to anything she decorates. I was sitting at a ministry meeting waiting to head out to my friends' house for their vow renewal. My cell rang and it was Tracey. "Can you come. I need you right now." I don't even remember if I said goodbye as I sprang from that room to go help my friend. Remembering that moment reminded me of how much I love this friend and how often she has come to my rescue. Tracey looked stunning. Again, she was transformed from my dear friend, into this beautiful bride. Her home was perfectly decorated, all these touches of flowers in just the right places around the rooms. I recall how much she had put in to this event, wanting everything to be special and beautiful and romantic as she looked in to her husband-groom's face and said "I still do!" Kyle choked up as he said his vows and I loved him for loving my friend so much that the thought of their union evoked such emotion.

This summer, one of my favorite couples, Amy and Craig, will be renewing their vows. Everyone can see how they love each other, how they take care of each other. A family with two children now, they haven't lost that sparkle in their relationship. I cannot wait!

RENEWING VOWS - PART 1

2010-03-25T15:18:00.004-05:00

There were alot of divorces on my dad's side of the family. My (soon to be) husband had been divorced. All that history of divorce in our backgrounds scared me. So in an effort to break this chain of divorce we would bring into our marriage, we planned on renewing our vows every 5 years.

Year 5. I was working full time and putting myself through college. Our 5th anniversary fell on a Saturday. I had a morning class and an afternoon class. We met our pastor at church during lunch, just the three of us before God, as he lead us through vows of commitment and promise. I cried the whole time. Because, with some life behind us, the words we were promising to each other, the traditional marriage vows, took on a much weightier meaning than they had on our wedding day. It felt very sacred.

Year 10. Killing two birds with one stone, our vow renewal was also the cover for a surprise party for our pastor (or was it his wife? I can't remember which now.) Several couples gathered together at church and, once again, we recommited ourselves before God and friends "to love, honor and obey...as long as we both shall live." It was simple and beautiful and fun. It wouldn't be long after that we learned that God had plans for us that we had given up hoping for...we were going to become parents!

Year 15. My husband, my daughter and I gathered in Pastor Rob's office. Pastor Rob, like a brother to me and an uncle to my daughter, knew what was left unspoken. He knew the struggles. We repeated those vows while our little girl played at our feet, unaware that her parents were locked in battle, in turmoil. I silently prayed, "Oh My Lord. Help me get through this without breaking down. Help me to live out these vows."

Year 20. Me: "Our 20th anniversary is coming up. Do you want to renew our vows?" Him: "I don't care. It's up to you." We didn't. And divorced after 23 years, we never made it to Year 25.

TUNELESS

2010-03-22T13:59:00.003-05:00

So, I think I may have told you that I really do not sing well. I like to tell people that Rachel was the only baby who ever cried when mom sang a lullaby.

Last night we discovered that not only can I not sing a tune, I cannot tap a tune either! Rachel introduced me to this game on her Ipod. "Hail to the Chief" was the one that made her fall out in side-splitting laughter.

While we are sure she got her musical genes from her dad, we KNOW she got her laughter genes from me!

Image taken from here.

SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT AS ME

2010-03-16T12:15:00.003-05:00

I read this book last week. Started it one day and finished it the next. It isn't a long read, however, it will keep you thinking long after you have turned the last page.

Have you ever wondered if one man could make a difference in the life of another? The authors answer this question as they lay out their lives and relationship in a very honest, intimate and vulnerable way.

As they changed each others lives, they will now change their readers lives. Only the hardest and coldest of hearts can read this and not be touched.

duh.....

2010-03-11T15:43:00.001-05:00

I inadvertently deleted my links....don't have time to correct them today...so, if you don't see your link....hopefully I will have you back before long!

INTRODUCING....(DRUM ROLL PLEASE!)........

2010-03-11T15:26:00.003-05:00

I wanted to introduce you to my friend, Venetia. The first time I saw her, at church, I thought she seemed like a beautiful person, graceful with a sweet, kind face. Now that I have gotten to know her, I can definately say....she is a beautiful young mom and as sweet and kind as she appears! She has a lovely family. She loves Jesus. And I am glad to count her as a friend!

Please stop by her blog and say hello. I told her how wonderful bloggervillites are!

LOST DOG

2010-03-09T11:53:00.004-05:00

I love this photo of our dog. My daughter took it a couple of years ago and he looks like he is smiling. We love our dog. He is devoted to us.

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He has aged so much since this photo. His legs frequently go out and he looks like Bambi on ice, with legs sprawled completely out. Sometimes he can get up by himself, but most times, we have to lift up his hindquarters and then hold him until he steadies. I have to cook a special concoction for his meals-it is the only thing his stomach can handle, and even then there are times....
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When we let him out, sometimes he will fall down the steps, and sometimes he falls up the
steps, and sometimes he just sits down and gives us the "no way this is gonna happen today" look. His hearing is going, so if he is not looking at us, we have to clap our hands to get his attention so he will walk towards the door. Sometimes he stands in the backyard and just looks confused, like he is not sure what he is supposed to be doing.

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Over a week ago now, I had to let him out in the middle of the night. I went to check on him to see if he was ready to come in. I couldn't see him. I looked out the kitchen window. No dog. I woke Rachel up. "I can't find the dog!" We put on coats and boots, grabbed a flashlight, and headed out back. After several minutes, we saw him in the back corner of the yard. Just standing. Not sure where he was. We clapped and he was so happy, like a lost dog found. Except that our claps echoed off the neighbors houses and garages so he couldn't find us. We had to walk out to him and lead him home.

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We have had several of these late night episodes. Especially now that the snow has melted. His black coat blends in during the dark of night and we can't see him. One, two, three in the morning, there we are with flashlights, looking for our lost boy.
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Last summer, when we went to Guatemala, he was so broken hearted that he stopped eating. We came home and had to hold water in our hands that first night to get him to drink a few drops. I didn't think he would live through the night, he was so weak. So weak that he could only wag his tail once when we walked in the door. My neighbor asked us what we are feeding him, because he bounced back then, and then several times since. I tell her, "Love!"
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Nothing is more powerful or healing than love!

COMPUTER DOWN

2010-03-05T16:11:00.002-05:00

Bummer, my home computer is down. See you on the other side of computer repairs! Or on the other side of the weekend! Like when the astronauts are on the dark side of the moon....no communication.

MISSION STATEMENT.....THEN

2010-03-03T12:54:00.004-05:00

My daughter found the tattered paper in my Bible a couple weeks ago. "What is this?" she asked after reading it. "It is a personal mission statement I wrote several years ago," I answered.

"I will live each day in consecration, dedication, and devotion to my God and King-to fulfill the purposes and opportunities He calls me to as a wife, mother, and believer. I will seek spiritual and emotional maturity, and physical and financial well-being. I will strive to be a blessing. I will strive to listen. 1-7-02"

I am not sure what prompted me to write out a mission statement. One year later, I would be in the final stages of divorce. "...wife, mother, and believer."

I am glad I never tossed that slip of paper. I am glad my daughter had the chance to read it and caught a glimpse of my heart. There are some who felt I didn't fight for my marriage because I didn't beg my husband to stay. There are reasons I didn't beg. I fought long and hard for my marriage for over 20 years. But I will keep the details of the fight and the reasons I didn't beg between myself and my God. I am at peace with this. But I also want her to know that I value marriage and that I valued the marriage I shared with her father.

Sunday was the 7th anniversary of our divorce. I almost forgot. "...wife, mother, believer." I think I need a new mission statement.

Image taken from here.

EMPTY HOUSE

2010-03-02T16:35:00.004-05:00

In December, we had to get our house ready for a new renter. We hadn't been in it for several years. Rachel and I wandered around the empty rooms. Some things changed. Rooms were painted different colors. My bedroom had been turned into two for our previous renters. It felt different somehow.

Some things were the same. We were joyously surprised to find a note I had painted in the closet in Rachel's room still intact. Memories came flooding back as we went from room to room. Somehow it felt the same.

I have talked to two different people within the past week about blogging. One special long time friend told me she occassionally stops by to see if I have posted. One special brand new friend and I are going to encourage each other to blog regularly.

When I first logged on today....it felt kind of strange. Changed. Different. Empty.

Then I thought about the joy that bloggers and blogging have given me. As I remembered the laughs, the wisdom, the prayers and the fears that have been shared together on our blogs, those familiar warm feelings crept right back into my heart.

Like my house, it is not empty where there are memories, where friendship is shared, where faith is proclaimed, and where love can be found!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2009-09-23T20:41:00.002-05:00

The reason we are late is because we were a half hour early!

MY DAUGHTER'S TREATING!

2009-09-15T11:45:00.002-05:00

She's read the book. She plays the music. She's seen the movie.

Time for her to see the stage play!!

Image taken from here.

THE EXPERIMENT-WHAT IF?

2009-09-05T20:50:00.009-05:00

Leading Up to Day One: Last Tuesday, Rachel and I started our day by visiting Harvest Loves, the brand new, not even opened yet, food ministry at our church, Harvest Bible Chapel. On our ride home, we were talking about the difficulties of food ministry and how necessary they are to the people who depend on them. I shared with her some of the hard times her dad and I experienced early in our marriage-trying to pay a mortgage, my college tuition, and meet our day to day needs. At one point, her dad was laid off. When I would grocery shop, I often had to make the decision whether to buy shampoo or a loaf of bread.

Last year, when our church had a food drive, we took our grocery money and bought food for the drive instead of for ourselves. It felt good. And the truth is we had plenty of food in the freezer and cupboards to stretch over the next week. While we talked about that, the seed of THE EXPERIMENT was planted. WHAT IF we had to eat on only a few dollars a day? How tough would that be? Could we even do it? What would you eat? What could you afford? Where could you shop? WHAT IF we tried this and then gave the rest of the money we would have normally spent on a week’s worth of groceries to Harvest Loves?

Later that night we joined our friends to meet with the pastor from Blessed Hope Church. Since our mission trip, we have all felt that God has something “next” for us to do together. Talking to Pastor Gary was part of our exploration, looking for God’s direction. Blessed Hope is a church, a food kitchen, food pantry, and so much more! Pastor Gary shared with us the changes that he’s seen in this economy. He is seeing more people, especially more families with children, needing a meal and groceries. We listened to the stories and met some of the people.

This second visit solidified it for us. We would try THE EXPERIMENT. We would start on Saturday, August 29th and eat on only $2.00/day per person. That meant we had $28.00 to spend between us for the week. And, we couldn’t use any groceries, condiments, etc. that we already had at home.

The Night Before: The rest of the week we talked, and sometimes argued about where we would shop. I wanted to make sure we got some fresh produce for the week. Rachel didn’t think we would be able to afford it. We agreed to shop at the Dollar Store and if there was any money left, we could buy some produce.

After a busy day, I picked Rachel up so we could shop. We had to work really hard to try to come up with 3 meals a day and not go over budget. We put stuff in our cart and then later, had to put it back on the shelf. I wanted to go for frozen veggies since I don’t like canned. In the end, we opted for canned fruit over ANY veggies. I wondered what the people around us were thinking as we discussed whether we could get enough meals out of the boxed cereal or the breakfast fruit bars.

In the end, we purchased:
2 boxes of pancake mix (can be made with water & meant we didn’t have to buy milk)
14 chinese noodle meals
1 box of spaghetti
1 can of spaghetti sauce
2 packages of hot dogs
2 packages of hot dog buns
1 can of mixed fruit
2 four-paks of apple sauce

When we went to check out, I had forgotten that food items are not taxed. So we ended up with an extra $3.oo It was a blessing and we decided to purchase a pack of gum each. It also hit me-I didn’t plan on caffeine for the week.

WHAT IF you had to do this week after week? WHAT IF you had kids in school and needed to make sure they had a healthy diet? WHAT IF you had an extra $3.00 at the end of your grocery shopping and felt like you just won the lottery?

Day One: Our first day is behind us. We discovered that the boxes of pancake mix will produce 2 ¼ pancakes a person for our breakfasts. Not very tasty but filling. Sure wish we had bought some jam or peanut butter to put on them! I tried not to let batter drip down the side of the mixing bowl. I estimated that we lost about a ¼ pancake. Normally, I wouldn’t have paid any attention, but with having so little to work with, I didn’t want to waste anything. I flashed back to when we were in Guatemala. We threw an ice cream social for the kids at one orphanage. I went to serve a group of girls and one of the cartons of ice cream was totally melted…chocolate soup. I was going to throw it away until one of our interpreters stopped me. She was shocked that I would waste it and made sure I finished serving that gallon before I opened another. At home, that would have been garbage. I wouldn’t have thought twice about dumping it. Now, for the first time, I realized how important every drop can be when you don’t have a lot to start with.

We ran a bunch of errands later in the day, one of them taking us to Gordon Food Service. As we walked in, a woman asked us if we wanted samples. Did we? We were served a small piece of pretzel bread with a chicken cheese dip and a small bit of BBQ chips. Nice surprise! It felt like a whole meal! We decided to skip our day’s half cup of canned fruit since we had this extra blessing and save it for another day when we might be struggling.

WHAT IF we had to do this for longer than a week? WHAT IF this was our life? WHAT IF I was less wasteful with food, with spending, with my time? WHAT IF I gave that extra away?

Day Two: I ended up driving Rachel to work before I left for Kalamazoo to attend Jeremiah’s baptism. On the way, I asked Rachel if she would go to the family night at church with me. And then I realized…yikes, each family is supposed to bring some BBQ meat and a side dish to pass. I told Rachel that I know church is the one place I should be able to go and not worry about bringing something, but I don’t know the people there too well yet and I would be embarrassed to show up empty handed and then fill our plates. We did have to laugh when I suggested it would be pretty hysterical if we showed up with anything from this week’s food stock. “Pancake, anyone?!!”

I told Rachel that the Cook’s church was going to serve a light lunch at the baptism. I asked her to guess what they were serving. Hot dogs? Yep! Going through the line, I picked a bag of Doritos because I know Rachel likes them and I wanted to surprise her with a treat. Vicki was deciding whether or not to get anything to eat, so I asked if I could have her bag of chips. Both Vicki and Darryl gave me their chips. Earlier, when I stopped by Rob’s office, he had bowls of candy and snacks on his end tables. I asked if I could help myself and of course, he said yes. I picked out 2 small packages of trail mix to bring to Rachel. Rachel’s boss ended up giving her some left over pizza. We each had a couple of pieces and still have some for tomorrow. Ok, so we now have a stash of pizza, trail mix, and chips!

Before we left this morning, our dog Sparky was not doing well at all. We had to carry him outside and then his legs kept buckling. When we brought him in, he drank some water but wouldn’t eat any of his food. I got one of the hot dogs to see if he would eat something. I wondered if I would have been so willing to give him part of my food ration for the day if I wasn’t going to be having a hot dog at church later?

We both went to bed a little hungry last night. Same tonight. Nothing unmanageable. We are drinking a lot of water trying to offset that.

WHAT IF we had to go to bed hungry every night, with no end in sight? WHAT IF we couldn’t afford to feed our dog? WHAT IF we had to avoid parties and get-togethers because we couldn’t afford to bring something or pay for a meal? WHAT IF I had to tell my child, eat something here because there’s nothing at home?

Day 3: Today was my first day at work since we started THE EXPERIMENT. Right off the bat, I announced to my co-workers that I would be grateful to anyone who bought me a diet coke this week and yes, I was shamelessly begging…lol. It wasn’t long before I found a nice cold bottle sitting on my desk! My announcement stirred a lot of discussion and guessing. We all had some fun with it. The cool thing is that I know they are people who would really help me out if I was in a bind or tough spot. I am blessed.

After work, Rachel and I sat down to our dinner of two hot dogs. While we talked through “dinner” we were surprised to discover that neither of us wanted to eat anything from the stash of goodies we picked up yesterday. We both were actually afraid that if we ate a bag of chips, then we wouldn’t have anything if we got really hungry one day. So, we agreed to hoard them. Funny that a few bags of chips and a couple packages of trail mix represented wealth to us in a way they never had before. We thought of a community center we had visited in Guatemala. We had a ton of left over candy and gave that out to the kids. They just pulled out their shirts to hold their loot. We wondered now, if they felt like we do today.

I am finding that I am more emotional than usual. Yesterday, I was thinking about all the moms around the world that have to watch their children go hungry, some to even die of starvation. How do you even bear something like that? I wept. But my tears must move me to action, yes? Otherwise, they are wasted.

WHAT IF it was my child crying herself to sleep from hunger? WHAT IF there was something I could do, was supposed to do, that could help even one child, one mom, one family? WHAT IF I cared enough to find out?

Day Four: We thought things might get hard by today, but we didn’t expect to feel as hungry as we do. Both Rachel and I thought our bodies would adjust. We just thought we would be sick of the menu. But we have been sooo hungry today.

Last night, I had so much trouble sleeping. Hunger kept me awake. And shadowed me all day. Found out Rachel had the same kind of day. We made our box of spaghetti tonight. I am so glad Rachel picked out the can of sauce with meat. We both feel like we just want some protein, even if it is a morsel.

I thought I would really have a struggle when I picked up Nick’s McDonald’s order at lunch today. I told Rachel that as hungry as I had been feeling all day, I thought it would be torture to drive the few blocks with the aroma of Micky Dee’s fries wafting through the air. Are you with me? What a blessing though. I was so busy thinking about some of the blessings God has brought me, that I didn’t even notice!

I should probably give some background to the hints I have left on Facebook so far. I posted our Experiment on Facebook to keep me accountable so it would be harder to cheat or quit. I am glad for the accountability. The hints:
#1) Some things are harder/some are easier: The harder part is trying to make our couple bucks stretch. The easier is….hardly any dishes!
#2) 10.7 million people, including half a million children: live in homes in the U.S. that experience hunger skipping meals, eating little, or going without food for a whole day.
#3) In the human condition, there are all types: All types of hunger. Humans hunger for peace, for love, for purpose, for belonging, for relationship with God. Physical hunger is probably the easiest to offset, so it makes me wonder why hunger is still a major issue worldwide.

WHAT IF I wasn’t so selfish? WHAT IF I can’t save the world, but I am supposed to help one child? One person? One family? WHAT IF I stop looking for them? WHAT IF I miss out on being a part of God’s story in the life of another? WHAT IF we don’t “get” whatever it is we can and should be learning through THE EXPERIMENT? WHAT IF we spend this week experiencing short-term hunger but don’t empathize with the pain of “the hungry”? WHAT IF all we end up with at the end of this week are a few sleepless nights and some growling stomachs?

Day 5,6,7: Just as I was about to start our journaling Day 5, I heard, “Mom! Sparky’s bleeding!” We ended up at the emergency vet until 1:30 or 2:00 a.m. The next day found us too exhausted to journal. So, here are the highlights from the next 3 days.

Since we had been so hungry on Day 4, I really expected Day 5 to be a struggle. ..a long, dreary day to try and muddle through. I sensed God saying to me, “You don’t trust Me, do you?” That caught me off guard. What did this EXPERIMENT have to do with trusting God? I mean, it was just a short term, one week experiment, right? I got to work and noticed a package in my mail slot. It was a bag of Jolly Ranchers with a note saying something about payment.The day before, I had done a favor for a driver and had jokingly told him that it was going to cost him. And this was his tongue in cheek payment. A whole bag of candy! Here was God surprising me when I didn’t expect it. I picked out one of each flavor for myself and for Rachel and then shared the rest of the bag with my co-workers. At lunch, someone put a Jimmy John’s sandwich on my desk. “I didn’t order that.” I didn’t hear what she said exactly but it was something about someone buying me a sandwich because of my social experiment. Another unexpected surprise! I saved half for Rachel and couldn’t believe how full that bit of protein made me feel. Rachel’s boss bought her a chicken wrap, so for dinner, we switched out sandwiches. Ah, protein! “Trust Me.” I knew that wasn’t about a Jolly Rancher or a sandwich, but about every part of my life.

On Day 6, we barely felt any hunger, we were so tired from our night at the vet’s. It was eat and early to bed.

Day 7. I came into work to, once again, find a diet coke waiting for me on my desk. My co-workers are the best!! After this week, we knew that today would be easy. Our last day, we would probably breeze through. We still had our stash of goodies, too.

I had a chance to talk with a Christian brother from South Africa early in the day. One of the things he noticed about Americans was our absence of God from the center of our lives. We have so much that we tend to rely on ourselves and don’t include God in the equation. Later in the evening, we were talking with our friends Danielle and Aaron. Aaron mentioned hearing about a Christian leader who commented that he was amazed how much we accomplish on our own, because we have left God out of the equation. That is really at the core of THE EXPERIMENT. Without God at the center, we just lived a week with very little food. Perhaps developed some empathy. But with God, this week will take on life and depth beyond our small efforts. I don’t know how that will play out, but I know who He is. He is the One who spoke and a world and its beings were created. He is the One who takes nothing and makes it into something breathtaking.

WHAT IF my life was to reflect my belief?

Day 8 The End….or is it the Beginning?
I asked Rachel for her observations from this week. We laughed when she said, “Canned food is very salty!” But then she recalled the time when she was helping pack food at Taylor Human Services’ food pantry and they were giving almond milk. She said that she remembered thinking that she would never drink almond milk. “But if you have no food, you take what you can get and eat it…even almond milk!”

We realize, now more than ever, that we have more than we thought we had, and need less than we thought we needed. And not just when it comes to food.

We have an increased awareness of the issues and experience surrounding hunger, as you would expect. I was surprised by the joy we found. Joy in sharing with each other from the meagerness we had. I can’t really explain it. But it wasn’t a joy derived from the things, but joy from walking this together, from rejoicing and celebrating in the blessings. From being joined in a common purpose.

One of the things I felt God speaking to me throughout this week was about giving Him the best of everything and every part of my life. Rachel and I talked about how when we have given to food drives in the past, we have given stuff like that can that has been left sitting in the cupboard for a year. Just grabbing whatever we didn’t really want or need. Now, we want to make sure we are including protein and some luxury items. The really good stuff, you know? And so it must be with what I give to God. Not just the leftovers, but the really good stuff.

Why? In John 12, we are told of the woman who came and poured expensive oil over Jesus’ feet and wiped them with her hair. Was this a shocking emotional display and waste of resources? Jesus response could seem even more shocking because He sat there and received it. RECEIVED IT! He is recorded as saying, “Leave her alone….the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.” (John 12: 8) His reference to the poor at the seeming waste of this expensive oil is very telling. Throughout the gospels, we see example after example of Jesus being moved with compassion…the feeding of a crowd of people who came to hear him, raising a woman’s dead child because he was her only son, healings, reaching out to the ones who were the last people who deserved his attention, and the list could go on. So it wasn’t that he didn’t care about the poor. But He knew what she got (as evidenced by her actions) and I often don’t get. He is WORTHY!

I have all kinds of these alabaster jars filled with the best of what I have…possessions, money, time, energy, passion, talent, rights….that I have been hoarding , telling myself that I will break them open and offer them at a future date. My motivations have sometimes been fear, sometimes selfishness, sometimes apathy, sometimes greed. God is telling me to break them open and pour them out at His feet. Now is the time. NOW is ALWAYS the time. Not because I might receive a blessing, or joy, or purpose, or satisfaction. But because He is WORTHY of it all, of every drop of every hoarded jar.

Last January, I sat in a restaurant with my Christian sisters, as one posed a WHAT IF? question to the rest of us. That resulted in the 6 of us (who are still amazed that God provided the finances) holding Guatemalan orphans in our arms and hearts in July. And a month later, sitting in a pastor’s office, a man we had never met, asking more WHAT IF? questions. One of the things he said to us was, “Start by just doing SOMETHING.” which confirmed to Rachel and I to live out THE EXPERIMENT that sprang from a WHAT IF? question we had asked each other early that morning. It’s the domino effect, one WHAT IF? leads to another, and then to another, and on.

I don’t know if the Holy Spirit is placing WHAT IF? questions in your heart, but our advice, dear friend….. is BREAK THE JAR!!!!!

MOTIONS

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” Isaiah 6:8

BLOGGING VS. FACEBOOK

2009-08-12T13:32:00.004-05:00

To me, Facebook is like conversation around the water cooler at work. Lots of sharing, some personal, most short conversations, catching up on what's going on, quick share of info. On the other hand, Blogging is like sitting down and sharing a cup of tea with a good friend. Maybe some of the same topics are covered, but usually more indepth and intimately.

What do you think?

GUATEMALA MISSION TRIP

2009-07-31T12:51:00.001-05:00

I posted on our Mission Trip Blog. Check it out if you want.

MY DAUGHTER WANTS A WHAT?!!

2009-07-29T11:44:00.003-05:00

My daughter wants to get a tatoo. This is what she has picked out. But she is still trying to decide where to.....ummm....place it.

MAKOTI

2009-07-28T12:45:00.003-05:00

Sunday I went to a wedding shower for one of my young friends. She is going to marry a South African, of the Zulu tribe. She taught us that Makoti is the word for bride. She won't be referred to by her first name but as "Makoti".
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I love that concept. As a Christ follower, I love the concept of being recognized as His bride. I love the concept of losing myself in my love life with my Redeemer. Of being Makoti!

STAYING VISIBLE

2009-05-06T13:45:00.001-05:00

One of the things we train new drivers at my company, is how to "stay visible". For our couriers, it is important that other drivers and our dispatch know where they are at all times. Our road staff work as a team, and if a job becomes available, one driver may recommend that another driver cover that job because he/she is in the best position or may be heading in the direction the package is going. Since the jobs are announced over the radio, the couriers have to rely on each other to have their backs in case they are out of their vehicles when the job is called out. "Staying visible" is key to making a good income and providing excellent customer service.

The concept of "staying visible" has been on my mind alot lately. With a work email, a personal email, twitter, Facebook, myspace, instant messaging, blogging, texting, a cell phone that I keep with me constantly, you would think I would have no trouble staying visible. But I do. I mean, I am just getting used to Facebook and someone told me that Facebook is on the way out.

I am trying to be deliberate about logging on and reading, tweeting, posting, writing on walls, T9ing, IMing.......is it any wonder I am overwhelmed??? LOL

The good thing is, I have friends in parts of the world that I would never had had. I have found relatives and friends that I lost contact with. So, I have decided it is all worth it. I need my friends. I need the support, the comfort, the laughs, the inspiration. I am going to try and quit "ghosting" and "stay more visible" in the future!

Image taken from here.

HELLOOOOO OUT THERE...ANYBODY HOME?

2009-05-02T00:13:00.002-05:00

ONE O'CLOCK IN THE A.M. CAN'T SLEEP. CATCHING UP ON YOUR BLOGS. TOMORROW A.M. SHOULD BE INTERESTING. WE HAVE A 6 MILE JOG/WALK PLANNED FOR EARLY, FIRST THING. LOL. BET I WON'T BE LAUGHING IN THE A.M. !!

Presidential Quote for the Week

2009-04-30T08:11:00.002-05:00

We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us! It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.— Abraham Lincoln, April 30, 1863

Image & quote taken from here.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2009-04-28T13:51:00.004-05:00

"Wow, that's a big oscillation!!"

Image taken from here.

2009-04-27T14:23:00.004-05:00

I received this Sisterhood award today from Lidj...which is pretty remarkable seeing I have been MIA from bloggersville. However, it did make my day and was all the more special because it came from this friend.

You know, we have been talking alot at work about business blogs and the new business catch phrase "Social Networking" that emphasizes Facebook, Twitter, blogging, etc. It has made me miss you all very much and has reminded me of how grateful I am for you. You are always there if I need a laugh, a shoulder to cry on, a prayer, encouragement, inspiration....heck, some of you even brought me meals when I had my surgery a few months back.

I guess I should tag you all...even if you ain't a sister, but a brother!!

HAPPY STUFF FROM MY PAST MONTH

2009-04-22T15:26:00.002-05:00

1. Quote of the Day - "You won't find a sea in an ocean!"
2. Watching Jack L love his farm animal toys.
3. Hearing Tina Fab sing on Easter.
4. A couple 70 degree days.
5. Five 1 minute sprints on the treadmill after not having run in over a year since I sprained my ankle.
6. Video of Jack A singing and coloring Easter Eggs.
7. An unexpected phone call from my great-nephew Jeremy.
8. The daffodils sitting on my table.
9. Finding out the Phyllis has her money for her mission trip.
10. Playing Balderdash at a big family get together.
11. Loving God so much (and knowing you are loved back) you want to shout!

IT'S COMPLICATED

2009-03-11T12:49:00.003-05:00

"... we had always had a complicated relationship. We loved each other deeply, but like I said....it was not easy. I'll just say it as it was, she was not an easy person to be around, and out of frustration, and sometimes anger, I didn't always do all I could to make it any easier..." These words from my friend, Pat's blog, jumped out at me today. They captured exactly how I have been feeling.
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This morning was a tough one. As I was fixing my mom's breakfast I thought, "This is why God gave me only one child. He knew I would be parenting my mom for all these years." And today, I felt much too old and too tired for a giant toddler. That is why my friend's words spoke so loudly to me.
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Growing up, my mom was probably the perfect mom. She was a scout leader, artistic, creative, committed to her children's pursuits. I remember that near our birthdays, she would ask what kind of cake we wanted. It didn't matter what we came up with, she would find a way to make it. Probably the most difficult was the year my brother asked for an aircraft carrier cake. And at his birthday party, there was a replica of the aircraft carrier my dad served on in the U.S. Navy, complete with airplanes made out of lifesavers and sticks of gum, lined up on the deck!
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When I was 11, my parents had a meeting to tell us that they were divorcing. I had to move into the master bedroom for awhile when my dad took up residence in my room. I don't remember much about sharing that room with my mom, except I used to like looking through her jewelry box and this gave me plenty of opportunity. My parents went on to divorce and my dad eventually exchanged our family for a new one. We became step-children. I know everyone tried very hard to co-mingle the two families...but as Pat said..."It's complicated!"
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My mom became a working mom. Something that was very uncommon back when I was a kid. Divorce was still a word that was whispered in polite company. I remember putting on birthday parties for her and inviting all her friends from work. But somewhere along the way we lost each other. She abdicated her role as parent, probably because she was exhausted from work, and I pretty much became my own boss.
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Over the years, as I graduated from high school and college, married, set up my own household, and became a successful business woman, that small fissure that had begun in our relationship, widened. While I loved my mom, she was not the person I turned to with my joys and fears. She was involved in my life, of course, but things were just different.
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While my journey as her emotional caretaker had begun soon after her divorce, my journey as physical caretaker started when I was pregnant. I began doing my mom's laundry since she was now in a wheelchair. That is how everyone was first alerted that I had gone into labor. I didn't pick up her laundry that morning and no one could reach me all day.
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As the years wore on, her physical needs became greater and greater. Her world shrank and she didn't seem to mind at all. She was happy. We (my brothers and I) made modifications to her home so she could maintain the most mobility and independence. But somehow, she didn't see things that way. She does not like change. And there had to be changes. She resented us for those changes, not seeing the sacrifices that our families made to allow her to stay in her own home. Ah, it got complicated!
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Now, my mom is just a shadow of her old self really. The other day I got her dressed and then forgot to tell her to sit down in her wheelchair. I took her soiled laundry downstairs to the washer and heard yelling. I ran up the stairs and there was my mom, gripping onto her walker, not knowing what to do next because I had neglected to remind her to sit down in her wheelchair. Or, the day last week my daughter called me in tears asking if I could come home. My mom had left the water running in the sink and flooded the bathroom, enough so that water dripped into the basement below. Sometimes she remembers how to use the telephone, and other times she can't figure it out. Every day is different. Some are fine and fairly easy. Some are not so easy. Like life, I guess.
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Sometimes we see glimpses of my "old" mom...the way she used to be. She lights up whenever any of my brothers come over. Sometimes, her voice sounds exactly like it used to...strong and confident. She loves the caregiver that comes twice a week to help out...they laugh and joke and my mom is soooo happy when she is there.
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I have helped a number of my friends place their parents in senior care. Why do I keep trying to take care of my mom at home? It's complicated. Part of the reason is...she wants to be at home. I will never forget the way she cried when I told her she was coming home during her last nursing home rehab. Part of the reason is...my dad never took good care of my mom. She deserved better than he was able to give her and I guess I am trying to make up for that. And part of the reason is...I am afraid my mom, the essence of who she is, will disappear completely soon. And I want to do everything to prolong that inevitability. And part of the reason is....God created me to be a nurturer. So many times, I have felt God speaking to my heart, letting me know that I am fulfilling a part of His purpose, by caring for my mom. And part of the reason is....I want to teach my daughter that family sticks together, even when the road gets very, very hard. And part of the reason is...she is my mom and I am her daughter. It's just complicated.
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Pat, I have told you many times that you have been a blessing and have helped me cope with caring for my mom, in your own experiences with your mom. Thank you for doing that yet again. There is a freedom and strength that comes from letting go and saying "it is hard and difficult...complicated really". And from being understood.
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Image taken from here.

WHERE I'M GOING

2009-03-09T15:10:00.004-05:00

Our passports came last week. I have never had a passport. The only country outside the U.S.A. that I have ever been to is Canada. I can look across the river and see Canada. I never needed a passport to go to Canada.
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But now, we are going to Guatemala. To work with children in an orphanage.
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Will you pray that our hearts are pure so we can serve in the name of our Lord, Jesus?
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You can read more about our trip here and follow our team blog, here.
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Image taken from here.

WHERE I AM

2009-02-28T20:54:00.004-05:00

In Mark Chapter 4, Jesus is at this lake and begins to teach. The crowd grew so big, that Jesus got into a boat so that the people could sit on the shore and everyone would be able to hear. He told them stories, illustrating the mysteries and truths of God's Kingdom.
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Now you should know that in the days preceding this, Jesus had healed people and touched lives in such a way that you could be pretty certain he wasn't your "average Joe".
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Anyhow, at the end of the day, Jesus says to the guys on the boat with him, "Hey, pull up anchor and let's go over to the other side of the lake." So the guys on his boat, and a few other boats that were with them, set out to do that very thing.
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On the way, a storm blows in. Not just any storm, but a "furious storm" of hurricane proportions. And the waves are crashing against the boat and filling the boat with water. I have been sailing on Lake Erie in gale force winds...well, not actually on the Lake, but in a channel off the Lake, and let me tell you....wow, that was some ride. It was pretty intense despite the shelter of the channel. Can you imagine how things must have been for the boat Jesus was in? Wind and waves and water. The crew must have been scurrying, orders being called out, water being bailed...fear and panic and chaos.
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And where was Jesus during all this? Asleep on a leather cushion in the back of the boat. Oh man, imagine how those guys must have felt. Jesus really?! This was YOUR idea to head for the other shore, now we are all going to die and you are what? Sleeping? The words they said to him when they woke him up said it all. "Master, don't you care that we're perishing?" I can hear the accusation echoing over and over. "Don't you CARE?"
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Jesus gets up and reprimands the sea. Did you get that? He REPRIMANDS the sea much like one might reprimand and impudent child. Jesus tells the sea to hush and settle down. AND IT DOES! The sea immediately settles down, exhausted and perfectly calm.
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Ok, I don't know what that crew was expecting when they woke Jesus up, but it sure wasn't that. Their eyes must have been like saucers, and it is recorded that they were totally in awe but also filled with fear. I can see them, voices lowered, asking each other, "Holy cow, who IS this guy? Did this just really happen?" Oh, how about the poor guy that woke Jesus up? In my imagination, he was trying to remember if he might have shook Jesus just a little too hard. "Uh, Jesus, about that bruise I gave you when I woke you up. I'm really sorry man. Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee? Another cushion to rest on? Sorry I flung the other one overboard...I wasn't really mad I was just a bit scared there...not really myself."
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Remember what they had all seen and experienced in the days before this one? Jesus said to them, "Why are you afraid of me now and why didn't you trust me?"
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For the past weeks, I have been bailing water from my boat. My mom is getting worse, bills are piling up, I could lose my house, I am not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life, my options are few, even the dog is having health problems....bailing, bailing, bailing, bailing. I am being swallowed up in fear and panic and chaos.
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And there it is. Once again, that accusation from long ago. "You are Sovereign. You have chosen this rocky path for my life. Why aren't You rescuing me? Don't You care? Don't You CARE?"
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Jesus reminds me of the many ways He has proven Himself and His love to me. Events, people, His Spirit, His Word, His life, His death.....healing, rescue, healing, rescue...again and again.
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"Daughter, why the fear? Why aren't you trusting me?"
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"I don't know, Jesus. I don't know."
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"Hush. Let there be peace."
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And there is. And it is immediate.
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WHERE I'VE BEEN

2009-02-23T03:48:00.007-05:00

Where have I been during my 5 or 6 week disappearing act? I wish it were something exotic . Just work and home though. I was surprised at how much energy it took to get through a day after my surgery.
My job can be quite an adventure. I work for a courier and delivery company, Reliable Delivery. On any given day, we can be delivering a transplant organ to an operating room, a forgotten laptop to a conference room, or film reels to a theater or newsroom.
My duties are varied. I like that. A big part of my responsibilities involve coordinating the training for our workforce. We have to train in medical deliveries, hazmat, HIIPA, TSA regulations, as well as the fundamentals for professional couriers. One of the projects that has consumed a large part of my time over the past weeks has been getting everyone TSA retrained at each of our four centers (Metro Detroit, Grand Rapids, Flint, and Toledo). That should be done by the end of this week.
But then there will be another project. lol. To be honest, that is where I thrive. In an environment with new goals, new projects, change, and challenges. And people. Lots of people to interact with, to meet.
Hopefully, I will find more time for bloggersville. I miss everyone and hearing about your lives and thoughts. I couldn't sleep (3:30 a.m my time) so I decided to use the time to at least post (and finish up my meal thank you's). Later tonite, I will visit blogs. See you then!

Thanks Edwards! Couldn't enjoy this before surgery!

Youngs...you are the best! Much appreciated.

Sandy, good food, good company!
Image taken from here and here and here.

WHAT TO DO...WHAT TO DO????

2009-01-18T15:26:00.006-05:00

I asked You, "What should I do?" for situation after situation.
Restless, I could not sleep....until You replied.....

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you." (Psalm 32:8)

I sighed...I smiled...I slept.

Sandy, thanks...yummy!

Pat, Rachel wants me to make this again!

Margie, a favorite!

Images taken from here and here and here and here.

HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

2009-01-15T12:13:00.004-05:00

On Optimism:

"...Edward Morrow's definition of an optimist--'someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way'..." pg. 51 Can Man Live Without God by Ravi Zacharias.

On Pessimism:

"...Hey, if it wasn't for pessimists, we wouldn't have flush toilets! Everyone would have been satisified with the status quo." Kaymc

Image taken from here.

I WONDER WHAT THEY WERE THINKING

2009-01-14T13:39:00.011-05:00

19 And going on a little farther, he saw James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, who were in their boat mending the nets. 20 And immediately he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired servants and followed him. MARK 1
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I wonder what Zebedee was thinking when his sons left their work in response to Jesus' call. Did his sons say anything to him like, "Hey dad, you will be ok. You have these servants to help you." or "We are going to check this out and will back in an hour or so." Did he beg them to stay or secretly wish he was the one exiting the boat? Was he mad? Indifferent? Confused?
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I wonder what the servants were thinking as well. "There go the boss's sons...they always get out of work." Had they heard anything about Jesus? Were they ticked off with getting stuck with more work? Or were their hearts breaking because they didn't have the right to follow?
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I wonder what this moment in time looked like to those around who weren't being called?

Little Sisters 1 and 2, and Pamela...thanks for the meals. Deeply appreciated!

THE POISONWOOD BIBLE

2009-01-12T18:19:00.003-05:00

I am using my recovery time to do some reading. I was given The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver during a Secret Santa exchange at work, so I saved it for after my surgery. I have been reading it over the past four days and here is what I think:
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This book is about a family who become missionaries to the Congo and it follows their paths through the political unrest and transformation of this country in the 1960's - 1980's. Written from the voices of the mother and her four daughters, you find yourself being drawn into the realities and hardships of being unpreparedly (not a real word...lol...but I am using it anyways!) plopped down in the middle of a whole new culture. We learn about the father through the eyes of his wife and daughters and we don't like him at all. He is legalistic and cruel and even as we find the circumstances that lead him to that position in life, it is much too late and his character is never redeemed in the readers eyes.
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While well written (I couldn't put it down), I was greatly disappointed in the book overall. All of the characters lose their faith and not one ends up breathing in contentment, despite a healed body for one and committed love and family for another. I remember when the movie, Fame came out and leaving the theater I remarked how depressed that movie left me feeling. My sister-in-law replied, "Well, that's real life." This book left me feeling the same void and emptiness. I think the portrayal of faith was from a viewpoint bereft of a relationship with God, presenting truth as an individual creation of a mind or collective culture. If there is no substantial truth (and the author presented none, other than America, Christianity, and the white race are the enemy...at least that was my take), then we are really left with no truth and great purposelessness and brokenness for our characters, indeed for mankind.
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I am glad I read this book for the following reasons:
1. It is well written and gave me a peek into history and a culture that I might not have taken.
2. Christians can become so isolated that we forget or are unaware of what "religion", lacking the truth of a relationship with God and the revelation of the Holy Spirit, can look like to others. The ouch factor here will be a reminder to me for a long time.
3. This book provides alot of material for comtemplating the question, "Can man live without God?"
4. I got somewhat of a glimpse of what my friend, Abby, will/has experienced in embracing her new life in South Africa.
5. While looking for an image, I came across this website for an online bookclub. The whole idea really intrigues me.
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My next book is "Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain" by Oliver Sacks.

ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.....

2009-01-09T19:01:00.006-05:00

....and he has taken my gall bladder with him! Image taken from here.

Thanks everyone for the prayers and all the support!

Rebecca, thanks for the soup! Image taken from here

Sara and Dean....my first "real" food hit the spot! Image taken from here

EJ, Lindsay, & Jack - 2 thumbs up! Image taken from here.

MY SURPRISE GIFT

2009-01-05T17:01:00.002-05:00

I am NOTORIOUS for guessing presents. My first married Christmas, my mother-in-law mailed our packages from Florida. We opened the large shipping boxes to find brightly wrapped presents inside. As I picked up each present and read the label, I would shake the box and say something like, "Hmmm, feels like a pair of jeans." Turns out I was right on every package. My new husband jokingly informed me that I had ruined Christmas.

One of my closest friends doubted my gift guessing abilities. I was at her house and she told me her father had been trying to guess his Christmas gift for a couple weeks. She dared me to try and guess, confident that I wouldn't have a clue. I begged her, "Louise, please. I don't want to ruin your dad's Christmas." Finally, after she dumped the present in my lap, I picked it up. "Are you sure you want me to do this?" I asked. "Go ahead. I am telling you there is NO WAY you will guess this." I picked it up. Shook it and pronounced, "A set of rachets." I will never forget the look of disbelief on her face! Or how hard her dad was laughing!

My daughter's first Christmas, my brother said, "You will never guess what I got Rachel for Christmas!" "Volume 2 of the Beatrix Potter books?" There was no gift or package involved to shake this time, but once again...nailed it. He had that same shocked look on his face that Louise had a few years earlier.

That brings me to this year. I knew what my daughter was getting me for Christmas because she needed me to help pick out the model I wanted. But then she put this other gift under the tree and said, "This is your surprise gift. Be very careful because it is fragile." Oh, you know that I tried to feel the package, but very I did so very gingerly because I was afraid to break it. I had no clue. The weeks before Christmas, I would ponder and ponder. Gentle little prying poke of the package. Nothing.

Christmas morning I could not wait to find out what this was. She had wrapped a water bottle and flip flop to throw me off (yes, that is a photo of the actual thing). My REAL surprise gift was Season 2 of The Office. She knew if she had wrapped that up I would have probably guessed it.

I think I had that same confounded look that my brother and my friend had had on their faces when I opened my surprise gift. I laughed for about 20 minutes. And now, my daughter has become legend for out-witting her mom. This will be my favorite gift for years to come!!!

INTO AFRICA

2009-01-04T15:49:00.003-05:00

I spent some time this morning with my dear friends, Abby and her mom, Barb. Abby is leaving this week for South Africa. Abby has been leading missions trips there for several years. God has given her a love besides the people and the place. She is engaged to Sandile (that is him in the center and my Abby on the right).

During my visit with Abby, we were watching videos of Sandile. He has a gentle, quiet way about him. I watched him playing with a toddler, sitting in a room of friends. Suddenly, Abby's phone rang. It was Sandile! I got to talk to him. I cannot wait to meet him in person.

Please pray for Abby as God leads her into a new culture, a new country, and a new life. You can read more about Abby here.

1234....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2009-01-02T21:03:00.002-05:00

Well, I tried, but I slept through the New Year's countdown. My daughter woke me up, "Mom, it's 12:34 p.m. We missed it!" LOL
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Hope You had a wonderful Christmas! If my daughter takes the photo, I will be sharing her "surprise" gift to me.
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Praying for God's blessings and goodness on every day and minute of your 2009!

HOW I SPENT MY SNOW DAY

2008-12-19T23:41:00.003-05:00

OK, our snowfall wasn't quite as bad as this picture, but I think we did get at least 2 feet. I haven't heard an official report.

I had a scheduled day off, so I decided yesterday that I wasn't going outside at all today if I could help it. I woke up about 6:30, looked out to see our neighborhood under about 6 inches of snow. I took a shower and then lazed around until it was time to get my mom out of bed. I have to admit that my bed remains unmade.

After getting my mom up, I played around on the computer until my daughter got up. We hung out for awhile while I did a few loads of laundry. I did a bit of cleaning, made my mom's lunch and was all set for a nap when the neighbor kids came over to clear the walks. Of course I hired them! I even let the boy next door move my SUV so I didn't have to put a coat and boots on. I made them some hot chocolate, fixed a couple of hats and mittens for the little ones. Boy, I realized how much I miss tying on a scarf or buttoning up a coat for my little girl....I must be getting ready for the grandparent stage. :-) (Yikes, she is too young, I will just enjoy all of your grandkids!!)

After sending them on their way with some Christmas candy, I took a nap. Wrapped up in my warm, yummy new blanket gifted me by a special friend.

After I woke up, more putzing around, put my mom to bed. Then we wrapped presents. It is almost midnight and I just finished the Christmas cards.

What a slow, cozy, lazy, lovely snow day!!!

Image taken from here.

THROWING IN THE TOWEL

2008-12-16T20:14:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I decided. I am done. I am throwing in the towel. I am not going to be able to get everything done that I had hoped to get done for Christmas. I quit. NO, I am not quitting Christmas...just accepting the fact that I can't get everything done. So, I am choosing to enjoy the rest of the season, the people I love, celebrating the birth of my Savior, Jesus. I can buy the cookies that I won't find time to make. I can enjoy the neighbors outdoor lights. The sparkle and magic of the decorations I have put up will take the focus off the dust bunnies under this or that.

I feel better already!

ON WHY THE PRESIDENT ELECT SHOULD CHANGE HIS NAME

2008-12-05T16:12:00.003-05:00

The other day, I went to say the President-Elect's name and I said, "Oback" instead of Barack. My daughter laughed and told me she had mistakenly said "Barama" a few days earlier. We put the two together and now wish we wouldn't have. We are constantly misspeaking and saying "Oback Barama" instead of Barack Obama.
I think he should just make it easier on me and change his name to Bob. I don't think I could mess up Bob Obama.

CYBER FRIENDS

2008-12-01T16:40:00.003-05:00

I have had people tell me they don't believe that cyber friendships are really real. That the internet is one more way for us to "disconnect" from real people.
I have found just the opposite to be true. When I started to blog, one of my friends told me there was a blog I had to read. That I would really connect to the writer. I did. Through her blog, I have connected to some of her friends and family. I have met people I would not have met otherwise. A young woman from another country that I now call "dear niece". The brilliant student and the inventor/writer who make me think outside of the box. The poet. The artist. The mom I hardly knew and the mom I knew B.B. (before babies). Some of my cyber friends I have never met and may never have the chance to meet. Some I have met but don't see often.
This I know, I have come to care about my cyber friends deeply. I laugh with you. I worry about you when you don't show up for awhile. I pray when you or someone you love is sick, or laid off, or marching off to war, or hurting, or scared. I learn from your wisdom. I rejoice in your victories and joys.
Recently, God brought another new cyber friend into my life. I connected with my friend. She has a heart that loves others and just wants to serve. She is the kind of person who, as Oswald Chambers puts it, "produces a longing after God in other lives..." I began to care about her and her family. She began to care for me and my daughter. Besides blogging, we began to email. She has become a blessing in my life and I am thankful for our growing friendship.
If cyber friendships are not real, then I ask you...why did my heart break for my friend when I received her email saying that her beloved husband died? We both know that he is not broken, or weeping...but is rejoicing in the presence of his Savior. I have been praying for days for my friend. That her heart would be comforted. That she would be surrounded by people who love her and her children. That there would be shoulders to hold her up and shoulders to cry on. That there would be those to share memories with, faith with.
Those of you who call me friend, whether you know me in person or not, would you please join me in praying for my new friend and her children? I know I can count each of you!
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ANOTHER DARN GOOD READ

2008-11-21T19:34:00.003-05:00

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I learned about this blog from my friend, Mike. This post on prayer was very poignant.

A DARN GOOD READ

2008-11-19T22:13:00.003-05:00

From one of my favorite blogs...enjoy and be challenged!

Image taken from here.

THE DATING GAME

2008-11-18T13:21:00.003-05:00

I feel like I am a contestant on The Dating Game. Not in the way you probably think. We are currently without a home church. And we have been visiting. And visiting. With no clear direction as to where to settle. And I am tired of playing the field. I want to settle down.
I knew God was directing me when we became part of a church plant a couple years back. I remember exactly what I was doing and thinking when God said, "Go."
Now, I feel like I am taking a stab in the dark. Like I am guessing. And that's why I feel like a contestant on the The Dating Game. I feel like I am asking all these questions, but "don't know" more than I "do know" about the places we have visited. I feel the need to pick, to choose and then to live with my decision, even though there could be something better. But maybe not. Maybe whatever I pick is the best from God's viewpoint. But what to pick? Have I missed something? Somewhere I haven't been yet?
What I really want is an angel to appear, or a pillar of smoke or fire to follow...something that lets me know exactly where God wants my daughter and I to plug in. I keep asking Him, but I get nothing. Yet, I do believe He wants us to plug in. I think it is something my daughter really needs right now.
We have lots of friends. We know how to follow God. We are very welcome at places we have been and places we have visited. So it's not about belonging, or being part of the Body of Christ, or finding purpose, or loving His church.
And yet it is.
I guess we just want a place we can call our own.
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Image taken from here.

LOVE IS........

2008-11-13T18:51:00.003-05:00

.....WEARING A MISMATCHED PAIR OF KNEE HIGH STOCKINGS SO YOUR DAUGHTER CAN WEAR YOUR GOOD PAIR WHEN SHE GOES OUT JOB HUNTING!

CHRISTMAS AT HOME DEPOT!

2008-11-07T11:03:00.003-05:00

The word "Christmas" now appears on the Home Depot website! And the angelic chorus lifted their voices and sang, "Hallelujah!" Actually, if you are so inclined, please let Home Depot know that we appreciate the change!

Image taken from here.

SOMETHING TO PONDER

2008-11-06T09:40:00.002-05:00

I came across this post on one of my favorite blogs. This gave me some things to think about.

"Living Soli Deo Gloria Under Obama"

MY 18 YEAR OLD IS 14 YEARS OLD!!

2008-11-05T14:39:00.003-05:00

Yesterday my 18 year old turned 14 years old. You see, when she was just 4, Jesus gave me the privilege and honor to pray with her as she was born into His family. Since her 3rd spiritual birthday, I have written her a letter and asked other Christ followers who were leaders or close to her to write her a letter as well. I have put them in a book. My friend, Sandy, made a cover for it and entitled it "Rachel's Journey". The past couple of years, I didn't write her a letter. I wish I had. But I am sharing this year's letter with you. If you think of it, please pray for my girl and her "journey"!!

November 4, 2008

Hello My Darling Daughter!

I bet you thought I would forget and neglect your spiritual birthday for another year. When was the last time I wrote you a letter to commemorate it? 2004? 2005? I don’t even remember. I am sorry. But today, I remembered that 14 years ago, Jesus touched your heart and soul, with the truth of His redemption. He breathed into you His very breath of life and said, “Come. Follow Me.”

You have changed so much over the past few years. Instead of a child, I have before me a young woman, who is still my baby. I remember the day that I was talking to God about you and He told me that He has adventures for you that I will not be invited to join. I could almost see a picture of me taking your hand from mine and joining it to His. I didn’t feel sad. I knew you would be safe, because He is trustworthy.

I think that is what I hope and pray for you the most right now…that God’s character becomes known to you. That it becomes a foundation for your relationship with Him. You see, I know that there will be times you face doubt, or hardship, or confusion. And it is at those times that you need to rely on what you know about God’s character and not what things look like or feel like around you. Your eyes will need to remain steady on Him to survive those times. The mother side of me wants to make it easy. The Jesus Follower side of me knows it will not be, but also knows how precious all this will become to you.

I believe God has moved me from my position of leading you, to one of walking alongside you. Rachel, there have already been times that you have led me, corrected me, supported me, times you have been the one pointing to our Savior and saying, “Look, there is where your promise and hope lies!”

Don’t be afraid of wrestling through the things of your faith. That wrestling is necessary. It won’t last forever. And you will develop spiritual muscles and a depth to your relationship with Jesus that is worth more than anything you will ever know or want!

I love you more each year. You are the best part of my life!

Mom

ELECTION DAY MUSINGS

2008-11-04T13:12:00.004-05:00

I got up at 4 a.m. this morning, so I could vote before it was time to get my mom up. My plan was to arrive at my precinct sometime before 6:30 a.m. I figured it would be crazy busy after that. I was right. I ended up being voter number 27, I think and was out of there by 7:25, home within 10 minutes. My mom never even realized I had left. And now, I can relax the rest of the day, knowing I don't have to face a 2 hour wait to vote later.

While I was in line, I struck up a conversation with the woman in front of me. We chit chatted about the early hour, the lack of caffeine. We guesstimated about the time we thought it would take us to vote, and would we make it to work without being late. At one point, she began to tell me about her children and their thoughts on the election. I was so sad to learn that her children came home saying that they and their peers don't think a black person can get elected in this country, and if he does, he will be shot and killed. This woman was black. I am not. As a mom, I cannot imagine how I would feel if my children felt that someone of their race would be killed if elected, just because of his skin color. Sigh, we still have a long way to go don't we?

A local bakery is giving out two free muffins if you come in wearing your "I voted" sticker. I promised a co-worker one of the muffins. He didn't think I was serious, so his muffin was a nice surprise.

I had a nice surprise this morning myself. After I left the bakery, I had to stop at the bank. I knew I was early but they are pretty close to each other. I pulled up to the drive through window. The teller and I have shared a number of conversations about our kids. Both of us have kids that want to travel internationally. Anyhow, when I pulled up she said, "I am sorry, but did you realize we don't open for another 15 minutes?" "Yes, I know," I answered. "I was in the neighborhood so I figured I would just wait." "You know, let me just go ahead and take care of you," she said. How nice was that? So, even with voting and running 2 errands, I got to work by 9:10!

OK, I have to admit that I was a bit of a pot-stirrer this morning. At the bakery, they had Obama and McCain cookies. My co-workers are predominantly Obama supporters. So I bought out every single McCain cookie to take in to them. You can imagine the comments, but they did get eaten!

You know, even though the TV and radio announcers were joking that this election would be called by 8:05 a.m. there is one thing that is really certain. Whoever gets elected is going to need all of our prayers, every day. He has a tough job ahead of him!

image taken from here.

MY KIND OF SEASON

2008-10-29T12:26:00.005-05:00

I love Autumn. I love the "Indian Summer" days early in the season that are sandwiched between cooler weather. I love the way that one tree will burst forth with color against a sea of green, surprising you and calling to her sisters, "Autumn has come!" And the slow following of those sisters, one by one, turning in their green for yellow, red, brown, and orange vestments.
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I love the smell in the air, the crispness, the earthiness. I love the sound of crackling leaves. I love the swirl of the wind accompanied by dancing leaves that later turn to gusts and gales, sweeping it's dancers into a frenzy of motion.
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I love the warmth of the sun against the briskness of atmosphere. I love the rain, sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce and biting. I love the first frosts that paint the landscape with magic.
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I love Autumn. I am so glad God thought of it!
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Image taken from here.

E-NUFF IS E-NUFF!

2008-10-28T13:11:00.004-05:00

I don't go crazy when someone wishes me Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. I recognize that there are other people celebrating other holidays around my Christmas. Perhaps it is just the craziness I see increasing around the whole God and Christmas and tolerance for everyone but those who share my faith. Like the political commercials and mailings that we are all getting so weary of.....I have had E-NUFF! I am tired of it. That prompted me to send the following email to the chairman of Home Depot:
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"Dear Chairman Blake:
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Before you read the rest of this, I want you to know that last year, I spent probably $3000 - $5000 on home remodeling projects at Home Depot.
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I just learned that Home Depot will join the ranks of stores deleting "Christmas" from their advertising. That makes me so sad. There is nothing wrong w/ the word Christmas.
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I mean seriously, the calendar says "Christmas" not "Holiday" on December 25th. The government recognizes "Christmas" as a legal and paid holiday. How confusing would it be for employers to say that "New Year's, Easter, Independence Day, Thanksgiving, and Holiday" are paid holidays?
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While I respect your right to determine your advertising policies, I will exercise mine to select the companies and vendors I will make my purchases from. And yes, I will choose those who aren't afraid of Christmas.
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So, Home Depot. It was good doing business with you this last year. And since we will probably be parting ways, let me take this opportunity to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!"
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Maybe I will really get radical and refuse to purchase any of my holiday gifts or holiday decorations from stores that are not selling Christmas gifts.
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Hmmmmmm, Rachel, it could be a pretty lean year for you, girl. Sigh............
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POSTNOTE: I KNOW, I KNOW...CHRISTMAS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE GIFT GIVING...I AM JUST TRYING TO MAKE A POINT!!!!!

Image taken from here.

SOOO TIRED!

2008-10-27T12:53:00.003-05:00

I hardly got any sleep last night. The sound of my mom choking woke me up. I rushed to her room and said, "Mom, were you choking or coughing? Are you OK?" "Coffee? I don't have any coffee."
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A couple of hours later, this loud buzzing noise took me to my mom's room again. I couldn't figure it out, but it stopped when I got there. I have no clue what it was. But she was OK.
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A couple of hours after that, my mom screamed, loudly. I ran to her room. "What's wrong?" "My cat!" "What happened? Did your cat bite you?" "No, I rolled over on my cat." Now, my mom is very immobile once she is in bed. Two people have difficulty rolling her onto her side, so there is no way she could have rolled over onto her cat. She was probably dreaming. "Go back to sleep, Mom. Your cat is OK."
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A bit later....whistling. She whistles for her cat when she is in bed. Over and over. And over. And over. I got up and went to her room. "Mom, no whistling today. We need to get some sleep and have to be up in an hour. Your cat is OK. She is right under your bed."
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We have a caregiver come in twice a week to give her a shower. We have been discussing bed baths because some days my mom is pretty shaky. She fell two weeks ago transferring while getting a shower. I listened from my room as I got ready for work. The caregiver had to repeat instructions constantly while my mom transferred from the wheelchair to the shower chair. "Ahh," I thought. "This isn't a good sign."
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My mom has been more confused and forgetful. A few weeks ago, she asked me what 30 plus 20 was because she couldn't remember. When we got home from our recent weekend trip, she asked if we were moving back in. Later she asked if Rachel was my daughter. I told her she was. "So, then I am her grandmother?" "Yes." "Does she know I am?" "Yes."
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In some ways, this development makes it easier to care for my mom. I think because I have very few expectations. My mom's health has been declining for over 20 years. Our responsibility for her care has increased with each year. Before that, my parents' divorce zapped alot of her parenting energy. In many ways, our roles were reversed long before her health problems. And somewhere in the mix, I was just a kid who wanted my mom to be my mom. And she wasn't. It wasn't all her fault. In her sudden vault into single motherhood, I am sure she did her best, but in her efforts to be a provider, we lost our mom and our friend. I think...no, if I am to be honest...I did resent that loss and the responsibilities for her care. So, in a strange way, knowing that she "can't" be the mom I wanted or needed, has made my load lighter.
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My reverie was interruped by the care giver. "Good job! You did awesome! You trusted me and look how easy things went. You got right up off that shower chair. You really made my day!"
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While my daughter and I are dragging today after a nearly sleepless night, my mom had a good day with her shower. I smiled. "Thanks, Lord," I whispered, kissed my daughter good-bye and went to work.

WHO THE HECK IS GOSH?

2008-10-24T13:41:00.003-05:00

Last night I had the television on in the background while I was doing some things on the computer. A new series, Life on Mars, came on. I was half listening until I heard a familiar tune being sung by one of the characters.
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"Rise and shine and give Gosh the glory, glory...." sang a young woman.
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I stopped to pay better attention. Yep, there it was..."Rise and shine and give Gosh the glory..." I was offended. This was one of the stupidest things I have ever seen anyone do to avoid using the word "God". Listen, I don't expect non-Christians to love my God. I don't expect non-Christians to act like Christians. I don't expect non-Christians to embrace Godly characteristics and values, but COME ON! "....give Gosh the glory?" Why couldn't they have sung "Rise and shine and give ME the glory, glory..." or "Rise and shine and give LIFE the glory, glory..." THOSE would at least have made some kind of sense.
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What's next? Gosh Bless America? Gosh bless you? In Gosh we trust?
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It leaves me wondering.....WHO THE HECK IS GOSH AND WHY DOES GOSH DESERVE ANY GLORY??????

FORGOT ONE PHOTO

2008-10-22T14:06:00.001-05:00

I forgot to include this photo of a bridge that Rachel took while we were camping.

MY LIFE OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS

2008-10-20T13:25:00.009-05:00

I took Rachel to her first book signing a few weeks back. The author was Brian "Head" Welch, formerly of Korn. He was a phenomenal speaker-had the capacity to make a person feel like he was speaking one-on-one while he kept the whole crowd engaged. Buy his book. It is a remarkable story of a life transformed. Buy his CD for your kids. They will love it!
Our company had an open house at our new facilities in Grand Rapids. The building looked great. We got to meet some interesting people and wonderful customers. And a co-worker and I got lost in Lansing for about an hour on the way home. The state police were routing people off the e-way and since it was dark and late anyways...we got lost. But with the help of our dispatch staff, we were able to find our way home. The very next day, Rachel and I left for a camping trip in Indiana.

My friend, Sandy, drove her class A RV by herself for the first time. She also parked it. Didn't she do a fantastic job backing it into the camp site?

This photo and the following photo's were taken by Rachel.

Since I was so tired from the previous couple of weeks, preparing for the open house, I decided we weren't staying in a tent. Instead, Rachel and I stayed at the Potawotami Inn. It was great!

We sat around the campfire, laughing and talking. We went on a hayride, the kids went on pony rides, we celebrated a couple of birthdays. This is an annual trip and I always look forward to it.

This is one of my favorite shots...looking up the trunk of a tree.

Somewhere in these past weeks, the following Quote of the Day happened:

"She marches to the drum of a different beat!"

This past week, I participated in the launch of Time Out at Richland Bible Church. It is a group for single moms. The women from this church just showered so much love on the women who came.

This past weekend my friends' daughter got married. It was in the outdoor chapel at Sherman Lakes YMCA open air chapel. The wedding was fun, the setting perfect. I have never seen a bride and groom enjoy their wedding as much as this couple. This was also Rachel's first time being a bridesmaid. It was a simply wonderful weekend...filled with family, with love, and community.
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So, I am back at work today. I think life is returning to normal and I will be around much more often. I will spend the rest of the week getting caught up on YOUR lives and happenings!!

CAN MAN LIVE WITHOUT GOD?

2008-09-23T13:38:00.004-05:00

I was up on and off all night, my mind just swarming with thoughts. I started reading this book by Ravi Zacharias. It is based on lectures he gave at Harvard and Ohio State. I am just a few pages into the book, but when I put it down last night I tried to imagine what this world would be like without God.

My first thought was...how would I feel if I lost God? I thought about the many years I spent childless, wanting a child. Now that I actually know my daughter, I cannot imagine life without her. When I transposed those thoughts into what it would be like to have known God and then to lose Him, my first thought was....GRIEF.

All night long, I kept thinking of aspects of a life without God. How would my personal life be different? What would it be like to live in a world that was not created by God? Would it be as beautiful? Would the sun still warm us? Would colors be vibrant?

What would it be like to interact with other humans without a moral code? I am not talking about a list of do's or don'ts...but a universal moral code? What would commerce be like? What would I place my hope in? What would drive me?

I remember having a sort of spiritual awareness even as a young child. I was raised with religion, so it was not a thing unfamiliar. But the first memory I had of something personal between me and God was as a young child. I said something to the girl next door about Noah's Ark. She had never heard of Noah's Ark. I was surprised and I began to tell her about Noah and God and the animals. I told her story after story. And while I was talking...I felt something. I didn't know what it was but it was deep within the very center of me. An awakening, or stirring, or knowledge...a definate feeling. As an adult, I believe that was the Holy Spirit. Maybe a prompt, or a nod, or a smile. I don't know which. But it was very real, sort of like the butterflies or warm feeling you get when you look at someone you love.

As the night progressed, I came to realize that I think most people are not athiests. To be an athiest, one must strongly deny the existance of God, of a spirituality even outside of Christendom. I think the majority of people espouse the existance of God, but live without Him. I think this realization surprised me. I don't know. Perhaps I never pondered it quite fully before.

You know what surprised me even more? Me! As much as I think I am a Christ follower, I was confronted with how much of my life I live without God! I am wondering how my life will look different when I live more with God than without Him?!

LOVELY DAY AT THE ZOO

2008-09-19T12:49:00.006-05:00

I took the day off the Friday after Labor Day so my daughter and I could go to the Detroit Zoo. It was perfect day and we had a blast. She brought her camera. Here are a couple of our favorites!
Actually, this bear was way in the distance and she used her zoom. Worked pretty good.

Because there were not many people at the zoo, many of the animals were paying closer attention to the humans than normal. It was a bit disconcerting to have this tiger tracking us!

This is one of my fav photos. Looks like a two-headed Rhino! I have an affinity for Rhinos anyways!

This was my daughter's favorite photo. This was taken in the Butterfly House.

PROCRASTINATION CON-VO-SAY-SHUN

2008-08-31T15:13:00.003-05:00

My Daughter: "I will do it tomorrow."
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Me: "Today is yesterday's tomorrow!"
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My Daughter: "I never said I would do anything tomorrow yesterday!"
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Me: "........" (I mean, how can you argue with that?)

MY MIRACLES

2008-08-28T20:18:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, as I was leaving for work, my daughter asked me to pray for her drive to and from work. She just had a nervous feeling. Of course I prayed. She called me when she got to work and we both went on about our day. Later that afternoon, I was on my way back to the office from a meeting over an hour away. I was turning onto the street my office is on when my cell phone went off. It was my daughter. Her brakes had failed but she was ok. I dropped my co-worker off and raced to meet up with her on the side street she had managed to pull off on.

Much of her drive involves a 50 mph highway. There is a stretch of expressway that she takes and then has a quick traffic light as soon as she exits. When we stopped to think about what she could have faced if the brakes had failed along her route, we were both a bit shaken.

I was able to drive her car home, she wasn't too far. She followed behind in mine. Her Uncle Darryl came to her rescue and fixed her car for her. Turns out one of the brake lines had worn against her shocks, suddenly draining the brake fluid.

Thank You, Lord, for my daughter's safety. Thank You for a brother that is always there when we need him. Thank You that the 3rd place I tried, had the parts we needed to repair her car. Thank You that my work day was suddenly changed, bringing me close to home when I was needed. Thank You for Your care and presence when we know we are in need, and for those times we don't even have a clue. Thank You for being the Rock that I run to, the Shelter that I hide in.

Hear my cry, O God,listen to my prayer;

from the end of the earth I call to you

when my heart is faint.

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I,

for you have been my refuge,a strong tower against the enemy.

Let me dwell in your tent forever!

Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah

Psalm 61:1-4

Image taken from here.

GRASS HOUSE

2008-08-20T14:58:00.003-05:00

I was visiting LLL's blog the other day and I ended up on one of her friend's blogs. He was talking about working on a tree house. I just saw a documentary on a couple that built this incredible tree house, complete with flat panel TV's and a number of other modern conveniences. It was very beautiful.

Anyhow, this got me to thinking about this grass house I saw once. My daughter and I were camping with about 7 other families in Northern Michigan. On one of the roads we frequented we saw this grass house. It was similar to the picture I have posted in that there was a doorway. And a window or two. But this house was more of a rounded mound with long grass on top and a couple of lawn chairs. We kind of laughed about it because it was so unusual and of course, those two lawn chairs.....

We decided to get a closer look and pulled onto the side street. I don't know what came over me but I just had to see the inside. I told my friends that I was going to see if the owner would let me in. Against their protests, I jumped out of the car, my young daughter following behind, and went up and knocked on the door. A man answered the door, his German Shepherd right beside him. I brashly asked if we could see inside his house. Surprisingly, he opened the door and let us in. I only was nervous for a few seconds when I noticed the shot gun leaning against the door jam. Or when the German Shepherd came to investigate.

You guys, I wish I had had a camera. Inside this funny mound of grass covered dirt was a beautiful house. Turning right from a very small vestibule area was this huuuuggggeee room with a domed ceiling. To the right was the most gigantic, fabulous stone fireplace that you could ever imagine. Circling to the left, we could see into the dining and kitchen areas. Left of that were the leather bound chairs and couch. The owner was gracious enough to answer my many questions. It turns out that this was the second grass house that he had built. The insulation aspects were what led him to build a grass house. He was congenial and kind, hosting these inquisitive strangers.

I thanked him for his time and returned to my waiting friends...the looks on their faces said it all. "We can't take her anywhere!" LOL But this is one time that I was glad my curiosity overtook my common sense. I will never forget this tiny adventure!

Here is a link to a tree house in progress: http://whateverisnew.blogspot.com/

Image taken from here.

FORBIDDEN FRUIT

2008-08-19T16:23:00.004-05:00

Sunday I was going through mail and I came across two letters that I had set aside to make a decision on. The letters were identical, except one was addressed to me and one addressed to my ex-husband. They were from an insurance company. I had opened mine and it was a letter saying they had refund money on a policy from 2003 and if I didn't respond, that money would go into the governments "unclaimed money" account or wherever it is they keep it.

I had put the letters aside because I needed time to think. The last time I had been insured by that company was when I was married. At some point, I learned that my ex had canceled the insurance on my vehicle without me knowledge, even though he was supposed to be to paying all bills. I don't remember the details, I just remember that this particular company refused to insure me despite my clean driving record, and refused to given me any additional information because the policy had been originally taken out by my ex. I was still legally his wife, but that didn't matter. I also remember scrambling to find insurance on a Saturday. I don't remember how many calls I made, but I finally found an office that was open. I am still with that insurer, out of loyalty, because he kept his office open on Saturday and was there in my moment of crisis.

My ex was just like that. I could tell you story after story. He is still like that. I ask him for very little help with my daughter because he usually says no. The latest was regarding her health insurance. I emailed him and asked him to keep her policy current until I could make other arrangements. I said that I would reimburse him for it. He responded by saying that she (our daughter) was young and healthy and there were more important things like school, and vehicle repairs to spend money on. He added that if she was injured in a car accident, her car insurance would cover any medical bills. And, if I insisted on getting her health insurance, I could feel free to contact the carrier directly, their information was on her card. And I am not making this up. This is almost verbatim.

Enough about him, back to me. I needed to think about those two letters because I figured I had several options. 1)I could forward his letter to him so he could claim the money. 2) I could claim the money myself and he would never be the wiser. 3) I could tear up my letter and throw his away, or better yet, return it to the sender. We have been divorced for over 5 years and I am certainly not responsible for him getting this letter. In fact, I don't believe he deserves that money. And if I claimed it, I could give that money to my daughter or apply it toward her dental or eye appointment...or any other number of things that she needs...not wants...but needs. You can probably imagine where my thought process went.

So there I was on Sunday night. I decided to make a decision. I decided that I would claim the money and somehow use it for my daughter. I filled out my name on the form. I signed it. Right below my signature I had to fill in another blank indicating why I had the right to this money. Was I the owner? The spouse? At first, I decided to leave that blank. After all, there was a date four months after my divorce was final. I didn't know what that date indicated...the date they stopped trying to refund the money? The date the policy was cancelled? I couldn't say owner because I didn't know which vehicle this policy/refund was for...his or mine. I couldn't say spouse because I would have been divorced by that month. I contemplated saying ex-spouse but then I figured I wouldn't get the refund for sure.

I finally decided that I would fill that blank in as "Owner". I wrote the words, sealed the enveloped and put it in a pile of other letters and bills to be mailed, satisfied that I would be getting some unexpected money in a few weeks.

And then I thought of that date...four months after my marriage was decreed invalid and I was no longer legally entitled to anything owned by my ex-husband. I picked up my envelope, crying out of anger and frustration and resentment and need and a myriad of other emotions. I ripped it in half...again and again...until there were only small shreds of paper left.

And I picked up his envelope...the one that I knew would give him an unexpected blessing and I wrote a note on the back explaining that I had received the exact same letter but that I thought this belonged to him. His name was the only salutation. The initial of my first name was the only closing regard. And I folded his envelope and put it into another. Writing his address clearly and placing two stamps on it to make sure there would be no insufficient postage problems. And I placed it in the pile of letters and bills that I would drop at the post office the next morning.

And I did this for one reason. Not because my ex is most likely entitled to this money and I am not. Not because I love my ex, because I do not. Not because I am a good, honest person, although I try to be. Not because of karma. Not because I expect to be rewarded for doing the right thing. Not because I am a Christian. Not because I thought it might be sin. Not because I am afraid God wouldn't forgive me. Not because I am strong enough to resist temptation, I often fail.

I almost took a bite of that forbidden fruit. I could taste it. I wanted it. The only reason I didn't was because I love God...I really do love Him. I love Him more than I want that money. More than I want revenge or justice. And when I thought of Him, my hand reached out and put the fruit back on the tree.

Image taken from here.

SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE

2008-08-16T11:29:00.004-05:00

We went to a wedding last night. It was fun! Besides celebrating the launch into a new phase of life, there are always the mutual friends you get a chance to catch up on life with as well. Our table laughed the whole night. It pretty much started when I was trying to smell a candle, and didn't realize that hot wax was dripping all over my blouse. On my way back from the Ladies Room, the table next to us told me that I had toilet paper stuck on my shoe. I guess the look on my face was pretty good, because then their whole table was laughing. Ah, it is my gift to spread joy...tee hee.
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My favorite moment of the evening was watching another couple, part of the bridal party. The wife, one of my "kids" is ready to have her second child any moment. She was hoping to make it through last night before going into labor. Her and her husband stood up with other people, but at one point, her husband walked over to tenderly help her down a couple of steps. His touch was so gentle and loving. Just what a wife wants, someone strong to watch over her and take care of her. I wished I could capture that moment for them forever...something for them to look back on when times are tough, or dirty clothes left on the floor irritate, the checkbook doesn't balance....or they are sitting on the porch on warm evening just looking at the stars.
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Earlier in the day I was thinking about a line that is rarely heard in wedding ceremonies now-a-days....that moment when the minister asks the crowd if anyone knows of any reason the bride and groom should not be joined in holy matrimony. You know the line...."Speak now, or forever hold your peace." How did that start to be a part of the commitment ceremony? Has anyone ever stood up and responded to that? The only example I can think of is from fiction, when Jane Eyre was going to marry Mr. Rochester, who happened to still be married. I seriously cannot imagine how one would handle that moment. I mean, what would you do? Stop the wedding and get marital counseling? Say, "You know, you are right. The sames things have been bothering me for a while now?" It would be rather awkward to greet that person after you went ahead and they came through your receiving line. Maybe that is why there are so many groomsmen....crowd control. :-)

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Image taken from here.

HOLY SNACKS, BATMAN!

2008-08-08T13:11:00.003-05:00

A woman apparently came across this Cheeto in her bag of snacks and a local radio station posted it under the heading "Cheesus".
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Is it bad that I laughed?

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2008-08-06T13:58:00.006-05:00

"He can't contest it. He's not an interesting party!"
-Said by a very interesting person!

Image taken from here.

PARTY ON, GARTH!

2008-08-04T12:47:00.004-05:00

Wow, did I have a wonderful weekend. Friday, I had dinner with a friend from high school. She also stood up in my wedding. We had a number of years to catch up on. It was wonderful to hear about her family and the many ways God has blessed her.

Saturday, we began repainting Rachel's room. Off to Lowe's to pick out paint. The young kid at the paint counter told me I made his day. That was because I enlisted him to assist in pranking my daughter. I got him to put a horrible color on the paint can lid when he was done mixing the right color. It only took her a few minutes to figure out that mom was up to her shenanigans again. But it was fun. We painted the rest of the day, picked out a new lamp, new curtains, and a few other odds and ends. Her room is looking pretty good!

Sunday was the cherry on top of this delightful weekend. My friends Manly and Juney and I attended a service at Evangel Ministries. What a great time!! This church loves Jesus. And loves whoever walks in their doors. It was a total party....celebrating, dancing, learning, giving and receiving. I haven't had this much fun in a long time.

I walked in to work this morning and one of my co-workers said "You must have had a good weekend. You look rested." I would say it was peace and joy more than rest!!

2008-07-31T12:46:00.002-05:00

Many years ago, I wrote a personal mission statement. I came across it recently and I may have thrown it out because when I looked for it this morning, I couldn't find it. You see, so much has changed and I thought parts of it no longer applied.

But yesterday, a couple of things inspired me to revisit the idea of a personal mission statement. I read this-

But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. Jeremiah 29:7

I have been waiting to exit this "exile" I have found myself in. Being rescued....that is what I have been focusing on. Returning to independence, my own home, financial security, a community. I have spent the last few years looking down the road, wondering and waiting for whatever it was that would take me to a new place, a place that would feel like freedom or home or something other than were I was.

Yesterday, we were returning from somewhere, and the little girl across the street...I don't even know her name...said hello. I didn't hear her and walked into the house. My daughter said, "Mom, that little girl said hello to you." I felt bad that I had inadvertently ignored that sweet little soul. That and the scripture I read yesterday are speaking to me. I need to look around me with fresh eyes. I believe that God is sovereign and there are so many turns in which He could have changed my present. But He didn't. I must conclude that I am right where He wants me. Not just where I live, but other areas of my life. What has been fuzzy, clouded by self-pity, is becoming more clear. I have been railing against the bars and chains, and have wasted much. Time and resources.

I think that living, really living, in exile is better than being stagnant. I need to start living.

P.S. My new mission statement is in progress to be shared later.

Image taken from here.

THE FUEL CRISIS

2008-07-30T13:46:00.003-05:00

With fuel prices being so high, my daughter and I decided to walk to the local pharmacy so I could pick up a few things for my mom. We talked about this and that. We walked around the store looking at make-up and this and that. We bought a "green" bag to carry our purchases home in.

Time wise...it took us just over an hour. I don't know what we saved in gas. I don't know how many calories we burned. I just know......

...it was good. It was very good!

Image taken from here.

THE SOLOIST

2008-07-29T11:49:00.004-05:00

I was at a gathering a couple weeks back and the topic of conversation turned to mental illness. The young man I was conversing with asked if I had ever read "The Soloist" by Steve Lopez. I hadn't but the conversation was intriguing. My daughter and I happened to visit a our friend's bookstore right after that conversation and she spotted the book. I picked it up and started to read it while she browsed other shelves. I could not put it down.

You will read about the power of music and the power of friendship in this book. It made me want to do a better job being a friend and a better job of making myself and my resources available to others.

I highly recommend this book. If you want to know more, you can read about it here, the same place I got the image from.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRIET POTTER!

2008-07-28T11:41:00.003-05:00

Today is Beatrix Potter's birthday. My post's title says Harriet Potter. That will make my daughter laugh. I often confuse words and names, making for some confusing and humorous moments. As was the time when I brought home a movie about "Harriet Potter" for Rachel to watch once when she was sick. Worse, we had already watched the movie but I forgot!
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We love Beatrix Potter's work. My brother gave my daughter 2 boxed sets of her books when she was very young. Later, my mom gave her a set of tapes...the books brought to life! The artwork was captivating. The stories charming. She read these books over and over. She was transported to a world of wonder. We have these treasures boxed and set aside with her most cherished items from her youth.
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So thank you, "Harriet" Beatrix Potter. You have brought countless hours of joy and fertilized the fields of imagination in numerous young minds. God definitely gifted you with creativity. Rachel and I are glad you were born!
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UPDATES

2008-07-25T13:49:00.005-05:00

My daughter has returned from the far corners of the world...well, from Kansas. It is funny, but somehow that week she changed and returned to me more of an adult than she was before. She was able to visit some museums and had a replica of King Richard, the Lion-Hearted's sword shipped home. I must admit, it is beautiful. And further proof that my daughter marches to the beat of her own drummer. No clothes, no shoes, no jewelry, no typical 18 year old purchases while out of town...but a sword. I have always enjoyed that about her.

I have to find a new time to blog. I used to take my lunches to catch up and post. But I rarely take a lunch at work now. I haven't had any further issues with my gall bladder. I am working really hard at eating and exercise...just trying to keep as healthy as possible.

My mom hasn't had any further issues that could have put her in the hospital. However, she continues to become more disoriented. I am really working with her diet as well, hoping that will give her the best opportunity for staying at her home. Yesterday she asked me if I knew who all the people were in the photographs that I had in her living room. They are all pictures of family, her parents, her children, her grandchildren. Sigh. I have a degree in Gerontology and had worked for 20 plus years in long term care, so I know what to do and what to expect. But, it doesn't lessen the sadness that I feel for her. The good news is, she is still very much aware and connected to her cat. So when I hear her talking to her cat every morning, I remain convinced, that despite all her other issues, I have made the best choices for her. She is happy to be in her own home. With her cat.

I want to end with a Quote of the Day that I didn't get to post yet:

"Did you say ASPERGAS?"

Image taken from here.

THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER REVISTED

2008-07-02T16:15:00.003-05:00

The graduation party was incredible! After it was all over, Rachel and I prayed together and just thanked God for the many loving people has brought into our lives. We felt surrounded by God's love. My family and closest friends helped with the food and my moment of panic when the circuits kept blowing and we couldn't get the food warmed. I think my eyes glazed over and when I came to...the food was ready! (Did I mention that they also cleaned up afterward?) Also, there was no brawling. My husband's mother, who has barely been able to stand being in the same vicinity as me, actually talked to me and gave me a number of hugs! God is truly good.

The morning after, I took my daughter to meet her dad for their trip to the airport. She will return from Kansas next Tuesday. Tomorrow is her 18th birthday and I still feel sad that we will be apart. I have sent her a couple of cards and have a present for her to open hidden in her luggage.

Last Thursday, my mom had some health problems. Thought we would end up in the ER. We still may.

Monday, I think I had a gall bladder attack.

So, mostly good stuff....and a bit of the difficult.

EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

2008-06-25T14:44:00.003-05:00

I am finishing up a few things before I am off from work the rest of the week. Saturday, we will celebrate my daughter's graduation from high school. A number of broken relationships will be reunited there. Either God will be glorified in all of these lives....or it will be a glorious brawl! I will let you know what happens.

On Sunday, my daughter will leave with her dad to visit his home in Kansas. I already miss her. I already worry that he will take good care of her. I know this will be a good thing for her relationship with him, that she is growing up and will have plenty of adventures of her own...but the mom in me is still strong. As she learns independence, I will learn to let go.

She will turn 18 while she is away. I have never been apart from her on her birthday. I won't like that. Neither will she. We are truly best friends. For that, I am very grateful.

Image taken from here.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2008-06-20T15:46:00.003-05:00

Question: Do you want to go to the store?

Answer: "Heave 'er up an' away we'll go!"

Image taken from here.

TODAY IS NOT MONDAY....

2008-06-18T13:44:00.003-05:00

For some reason, I keep thinking it is Monday...or maybe it just feels like a Monday. My brain knows it is Wednesday. Yesterday, one of the new drivers I was training kept thinking it was Monday. Maybe I caught something from him? LOL

Image taken from here.

WAS THAT WHIZZER WHIZZING BY?

2008-06-16T14:36:00.004-05:00

My neighbors have a white dog named Whizzer. Yeah, I don't think he got that name for being fast. They have asked several times(and I don't believe they were kidding) if we were perhaps looking for a dog. One day I saw Whizzer running down the street and was able to entice him to me with some very splendid dog treats. When I returned him, his owners clipped him to a leash INSIDE the house. I thought this very strange until I heard stories about their "wireless" fence and many other failed attempts to keep Whizzer in his own yard.

A week or so later, as I stood over a counter preparing some things for my mom's daily rituals, I saw a very tired, white dog hurrying home in the early morning hours. Was it? Why yes, it was Whizzer. That was the first of many mornings I have watched Whizzer returning from his canine adventures, tongue lolling to the side, laboured breathing...but definitely a look of smug satisfaction on his whiskered face.

This makes me laugh. I look for Whizzer every morning now, hoping to witness this triumphant truant returning in all his glorious splendor. I don't know why this makes me feel happy....but it does.

Image taken from here.

CONFESSION

2008-06-13T13:29:00.004-05:00

Sooooooo....I mentioned my co-worker, Jill in my last post. And how she was touching the lives of others. I was telling my daughter about her. And I said, "Man, I want to be a part of God's story like that." Several weeks ago, I shared with a group of friends that I felt like I didn't want "it to be over" when it came to ministry and ministering. That I have this deep longing to be doing something but I just don't see or know what that is. In the past I very much felt God's focus and direction and call.

And yesterday I was mulling this all over. And two things God said to me:

1. He has placed me in a position to serve. But it is one I don't like. That of taking care of my mother. Our roles basically reversed when I was around 12 years old. I became the caretaker. She was broken in spirit by her divorce. And later, broken in body and resigned to a wheelchair. I take care of her most private of personal needs. I have been doing this for so long and I frequently resent it. Oh, sometimes I see the picture clearly. I see all this as an answer to her prayers. I see it as a way to minster in a Mother Theresa-esque way. Caring for the sick. But honestly, most of the time I see it as a burden and I dream of the days I can escape. And I often minster in the most joyless manner. I am not telling this so you can feel sorry for me. I am asking for your prayers so I can be strong in what I have been called to and strong enough to repent of the resentment and bitterness that I give way to. Really, I don't want advice....I just need your prayers.

2. He has put opportunities in my path...but I have stopped watching for them...missing them completely. And He brought opportunity after opportunity to my mind. Ahhh, how could I have walked right by that one? This one, it didn't even register. Yesterday I was determined to be very deliberate about watching. And there they came, opportunities that I could act on. Not for a pat on the back. Not to be busy. But how can I explain....just to be a part of Jesus and His work on this earth...it is fulfilling, it is holy, it is an honor that I don't deserve but again, one I am thankful for. Again, please pray for me. That I can pause from my self-focus to see others...to answer the call when my Lord sends it out.

I have been the pontificator. I have been the theorizer too self-absorbed to be moved to action. My heart has been filled with self-pity. That is NOT what I want to offer to a holy God.

image taken from here.

WHAT IMPRESSES ME.....

2008-06-11T14:09:00.004-05:00

1. True Leaders....because it is a mighty thing to have people want to follow you.
2. Peace Makers....it is an easier road to sow conflict. A much harder way to delicately navigate conflict with wisdom and righteousness.
3. My co-worker, Jill. She does not pontificate. She does not theorize. She just washed 14 loads of laundry for someone who did not have a washer. She has made countless blankets for the poor. She bought a suit for a child who was graduating at the top of his class but did not own a suit. She delivered several dressers to families nearby after brokering them from a storage facility for a very reasonable price. All this in the name of Jesus and within the last two weeks.
4. Artists and writers and musicians. Because they capture what beats in our hearts but often finds no adequate way of expression.
5. The Generous....who have unwrapped their fingers from self and material gain and in turn, have met the real needs of others.
6. Seekers....who do not boast of knowing all truth...but commit to the journey of discovery beyond themselves, and in their journey, teach others.
7. The Simple....who often in their simplicity, live profoundly.
8. Old People who still hold hands and old women who still blush at a compliment from their aged lovers.
9. Creation....the vastness, the diversity, the expression and the unexplainable....more than enough to ponder and wonder about for a life time and forever.
10. The Creator...who is and was and is to come.

I PEED MY PANTS YESTERDAY.....

2008-06-10T13:42:00.003-05:00

....well, I almost did. My daughter and I were going through her memory box picking out pictures and awards to display for her graduation party. We read some of the stories she wrote in 1st grade. Oh my, oh my. We had a hysterically good time.

She has truly been a gift to me...a gift from God. Filling my life with laughter, with joy, and with love!

picture taken from here.

THE RANDOM AND THE NOT SO RANDOM

2008-06-09T13:34:00.005-05:00

1. Last week, I had two training classes going...one here at my office in Detroit and the other in Grand Rapids. I enjoyed the Grand Rapids group the most...we fit in quite a few laughs. But I have to admit that I am exhausted. Mentally.
2. This post, Tappers, is quite intriguing. I have come back to it over and over. "Starting today, I want to remember that everyone else isn’t hearing the tune. Today I want to be a more understanding tapper." I have been applying this to so many areas of my life. Like looking through a new pair of glasses, yes? Seeing things differently is causing me to live differently.
3. Yesterday, my daughter and I watched The Great Debaters. She commented that this took place "not that long ago". My mom was 7 years old. White, and living in the "North". I wonder if my grandparents listened to these debates? I wonder what they would have thought? I never heard any racial or ethnic slurs or jokes or plain ol' offhand comments from them or my mom. I hope my family would have been among those who gave a standing ovation. Needless to say, it is now my turn to make sure the "applause" continues to echo.
4. While watching the movie together, my daughter made some slight gesture...just a slight pat on the arm...but it left me with this HUGE impression of how much she loves me. Have I told you that she is graduating from high school and turns 18 in a couple of weeks? While she will always be my baby, and has grown into my best friend...I will miss the girl she has been. A part of me is feeling quite melancholy about the whole thing.
5. At the end of working around the yard and house on Saturday, a friend and I lit a fire in my backyard fire pit. When the flames ignited, it was that kind of whooshing fire, that grows big quite quickly and burns quite hot. As we sat there in the quiet of the early evening, the sky still blue, the birds still chirping away, that kind of whooshing fire swept over me. Right in the center of the stillness and quiet, my heart was taken away by thoughts of the greatness of God, and the loving burn of His presence. My friend talked on, but I was very still. I just wanted to be. Quiet. With Him.
6. Later, I went to poke at the fire with my fire stick. One must have a good fire stick when tending a fire. I guard mine well. I sat back down quite hard in my lawn chair, and continued to go back, back back...until I stopped quite suddenly with my feet up in the air and my back against the cold earth. Ouch! It hurt but I had to laugh at what I must have looked like, and it was quite a few minutes before I could find a way to get myself out of that chair. It is times like these that remind me not to take myself too seriously.

Enough, I need to get back to work. My desk is a site...all kinds of projects sitting there waiting for my attention. I really hope your Monday is a good one!

NICELY DONE H!

2008-05-29T11:50:00.006-05:00

My "adopted" son, Jon w/ no H, posted an excellent series on the life and times of Indiana Jones.

You will want to read it!

Nicely done, Jon!!

Image taken from Jon's blog. I have no idea where he got it from.

2008-05-28T12:14:00.003-05:00

This story never gets old for me. I have read or heard it retold dozens of times. And it still has the same impact for me. That of horror and wonder. And hope.

Horror because I see myself in the characters. The Accusers-How quick I am to point the finger. How self righteous I often am. How smug. How unloving. How superior. The Missing Partner-How easy it is for me to think I am hiding my sins. Noone will ever know. The Bystanders-Ah, the grisly fascination of watching someone else's train wreck. How often I have waited to see punishment meted out. Or the cowardice of standing by those times when I, also, own the guilt. The Woman-Me. I see me. I see me.

Wonder because of Jesus. He is so smart. And unpredictable. You can't back Him into a corner. You can't mold Him into your own expectation of Messiah God. You can't trip Him up. What DID He write in the sand? After all these years, He is still so approachable and yet such a mystery.

And Hope. I can drop those stones I have picked up. My death sentence has been purchased. My slate swept clean...time and time again. And I can be changed. And those eyes...His eyes...can see me as pure, and clean, and lovely!

Image taken from here.

AN OVERVIEW

2008-05-27T13:20:00.003-05:00

(Image taken by me...not as technologically creative as Richard.)

Since I last posted in February:

1. I bought myself several books to read. One I read in 2 days...It was the Pride and Prejudice story from Mr. Darcy's viewpoint. The last three chapters were missing. It took me about 3 weeks to get a corrected version. I tried to get help from one sales clerk. Clearly, being of the male orientation, he did not fully appreciate my delimma. In fact, he thought it was rather humorous. The sales clerk that waited on me when I received my corrected version laughed as well. Because I found a chair and read the rest of the book before leaving the store. Another book, Born on a Blue Day , was fascinating and intriguing. And humbling. It gave me a glimpse of the vast greatness of Creator God. I am so simple. He is so amazing.

2. I implemented some new training techniques at work. They have worked out amazingly well. We also identified a whole new slew of trainers within our organization resulting in a much improved orientation for newbees. And little time for me...lol.

3. We have felt God moving us....well, I hope it is God because I have credited it to Him...for moving us from our faith community. We have visited a number of churches and communities and as of yet, have not gotten the nod, spiritually speaking, on settling in anywhere. I am parched for a Christian community of my own. I feel so welcomed at a number of places...but like I said...we are waiting for the nod. I hope it comes soon. If not, I hope I am patient.

4. I sprained my ankle in January. It has just now started to feel better.

5. I turned 50 last month. I am not sure how I feel about this, or even how it happened. I still feel like a kid. Well, most days that is (please see #4). I tried to play it down and warned my family that there would be NO "over the hill" parties. My office was lovingly decorated, tho (thanks Amy, Madison, and Tyler!)

6. I have missed reading blogs and writing posts. It is interesting how cathartic this can be and how connected I feel to people, some of whom I have never met.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2008-02-25T16:53:00.007-05:00

Overheard on WJR radio sometime after February 14th (paraphrasing by me):

Denny McLain: "This has been my worst week ever!"

Announcer: "Why is that?"

Denny McLain: "Because I forgot Halloween!"

Announcer and entire radio audience: "????????"

Finally the Announcer: "Do you mean Valentine's Day?"
Denny McClain: "Yeah, Valentine's Day."

Me: Any wonder why he is in the dog house? Or could this be a Freudian slip? Perhaps it was the flowers he sent to his wife?

My imagination just can't stop with this one.

Image taken from here.

CONNECTED

2008-02-20T22:16:00.004-05:00

Tonight my daughter and I stood out on the front porch, eyes to the sky. We were there to see a total lunar eclipse. It was silent except for our quiet exchanges. Our breath swirled misty around us in the freezing cold. Then voices burst our solitude, as front doors swung open up and down the block, with parents and blanket wrapped children joining our revery. I thought about the link that joined us, each family seperate yet connected, to see this display in the heavens.

My mind turned to another connection. The many of us who were thinking about Arlene and her family. Today was the day that God called Arlene home. I wondered how many of those who were linked to Arlene were thinking about her, sharing these same seconds with me. I also wondered if they were recalling that Wednesdays had become the day we set aside to pray for her. I wondered if they thought, as I was, how God's fingerprints were all over this day, all over this event of the eclipse...just as they were all over the things in Arlene's life that made her special...that drew us to her.

Connected...in life...in love...in friendship...in faith.

Image taken from here.

TAGGED

2008-02-15T13:49:00.002-05:00

My friend Dave tagged me. (No apologies needed Dave!)

Here are the requests of the tag:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five other people.

"What if they are?" he said. "It don't change what you gotta do, Chick. You stay in those cages, work with your coaches, and be ready when the time comes..." from FOR ONE MORE DAY by Mitch Albom.

This is an interesting little book that I got from my brother for Christmas (I just started it...only a few chapters in). It's about a former World Series player who attempted suicide and lives. Albom is also author of TUESDAY'S WITH MORRIE and THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN. My favorite Albom book though was his Bo Schembechler biography. Albom is a sports writer in Detroit and is also known for writing a totally made up column included quotes from a player about winning a game....which might have never achieved any notariety if the team had not lost the game. (I may not have the details correct..it was a while ago and many of us have come to learn that this is not uncommon among sports writers. If Ray Barone did it, we would think it was funny.)

I met Mitch Albom once, before he authored a novel, and was just known as the favorite son of the Detroit sports world. I was a consultant for a long term care management firm and was coordinating a Wheelchair Olympics for nursing home residents from about 9 facilities in Michigan. We held it at Madonna University, which happens to be the school I graduated from. What I remember most about Albom, as I walked around the events with him, was that treated each nursing home resident with as much respect and enthusiasm as he has with professional athletes...perhaps even a bit more. I am not surprised that the man I met at this event is the man who authored TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE.

Dave, thanks for the tag. Unexpectedly, it brought back some great memories!

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED!!!! :-)

One more thing...I wish someone would say this about me - "[She] did nothing by half measures and never considered failure as a possible outcome. " It is a quote from a work by my friend, Richard, that is still in progress.

440....

2008-02-13T14:15:00.000-05:00

.....the number of unread emails in my personal email.

I'M BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN!

2008-02-12T14:41:00.000-05:00

My goal was to rejoin the Blogging World once we launched this huge account at work. The official launch has happened and I am looking forward to life returning to a slower pace.

Nothing too exciting going on with me, but here is the latest:

1. I went to the doc's yesterday because I fell and sprained my leg a month ago. It still hurts. He told me I need more time, keep an ace wrap on it, and quit wearing heals albeit short ones (lol).

2. I just read a very interesting book...quite a sleeper I must say.. ...Christ the Lord, Out of Egypt by Ann Rice. My daughter saw me reading this and said, "Ann Rice...doesn't she write about vampires?" Written in the first person, Rice explores what Jesus might have been thinking and experiencing as a child. Some great historical information is built in. But most interesting to me was what Rice had to say after, about how she ended up writing this book and her research/sources.

3. I feel like I am 100.

4. My office is a wreck.

5. I had my hair highlighted.

6. I was at a 1st birthday party on Sunday and I have never seen such a joyful, exuberant, happy little guy.

7. Having my mom's basement bathroom remodeled. Maybe I will show you some before and after pictures, but can I just say that the "before" was worse than a dungeon? The toilet has been pulled so the floor tiles can be put down.

8. My daughter remains my best friend.

9. I missed reading your thoughts, your happenings.

10. I WILL see you tomorrow!

image taken from here.

THE EYE OF THE STORM

2008-02-10T12:34:00.000-05:00

I feel like I have been spinning plates.

A whole long row

Hurry, one is starting to wobble

Run and catch it before it topples....

Then comes the whisper of the Ancients

Through the sands of time

Calling, calling

"Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One..."

The longing starts

Deep and deeper still

"I hear you! The Lord our God.....

The Lord MY God!"

And I step inside leaving the chaos

No spinning plates

No sense of time

I find YOU, the One true God...inside the eye of the storm.

Image taken from here.

YES, MAM!

2008-01-31T13:45:00.000-05:00

My daughter ordered me to update my blog....lol! I have been swamped at work. Starting Saturday, we begin training new associates to handle a huge new account. We are increasing our work force by about a third!

For those of you who have check on me...thanks! It meant alot! I miss you all and hope to get back on the blogging track next week.

By the way, for those who asked...my Christmas gifts were: The Freedom Writers' Diaries, a class antique looking purse (very cute and I collect purses-I will try and post a pic), some of my favorite cologne- Jean Paul Gautier-Classique, and the best of all....a sweatshirt that says "I [heart] Mr. Darcy!" and I do!

I will be back soon!

image taken from here

MY EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

2007-12-18T14:41:00.000-05:00

My daughter has been torturing me for several weeks now. She has gotten me a couple of Christmas presents that she knows I will just love. Everyone she has told has said, "Wow! Where did you find that?" She is so excited about these gifts...the perfect gifts! What she doesn't know is that she has already given me the best gift...her excitement, her search for just the right things...that is reflective of the love she has for me. It fills me with wonder and awe and gratitude!

This morning I called a friend to check on her dad's progress. He had been through a serious surgery with complications afterward. He almost died. She shared with me that just the other day, when she went to leave, he told her he loved her. She couldn't remember having ever heard him say that before. It was a precious gift that she received...hearing those words. And sharing in the wonder of this gift with her....well, it just left my heart full and bowed in prayer, if that makes sense. All day, as I have reflected on her story, I have felt the miraculous.

I know it has been said more eloquently than I can, but sometimes, the best gifts aren't found underneath a tree.

Image taken from here.

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME UNDERSTAND?

2007-12-14T13:21:00.000-05:00

More and more, I am seeing palm trees as stand alone Christmas decorations. I could see if they are placed by a nativity scene to more accurately reflect the plant life from the region where Jesus was born. But what is the significance of a stand alone palm tree? Can anyone help me out here?

Image taken from here.

HAVE YOURSELF A RADICAL LITTLE CHRISTMAS!

2007-12-10T09:36:00.000-05:00

All the streets are filled with laughter and light

And the music of the season

And the merchant's windows are all bright

With the faces of the children

And the families hurry into their homes

As the sky darkens and freezes

We'll be gathering around our hearths and tables

Giving thanks for all God's graces

And the birth of the rebel Jesus

O they call Him by the Prince of Peace

And they call Him by the Savior

And they pray to Him upon the seas

And in every bold endeavor

As they fill His churches with their pride and gold

And their faith in Him increases

But they've turned the nature that I worship in

From a temple to a robber's den

In the words of the rebel Jesus

We guard our world with locks and guns

And we guard our fine possessions

And once a year when Christmas comes

We give to our relations

And perhaps we give a little to the poor

If the generosity should seize us

But if any one of us should interfere

In the business of why they are poor

They get the same as the rebel Jesus

But pardon me if I have seemed

To take the tone of judgement

For I've no wish to come between

This day and your enjoyment

In this life of hardship and of earthly toil

There's a need for anything that frees us

So I bid you pleasure

And I bid you cheer

From a heathen and a pagan

On the side of the rebel Jesus.

WORDS BY JACKSON BROWNE

Image taken from here.

I LIKED IT

2007-12-07T14:50:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading this book and I really liked it! I have read alot of books on marriage and relationships and this is by far, the best! This book does a great job of applying the gospel to marriage, or any relationship for that matter, and puts Jesus Christ right at the center.

Image taken from here.

CONFESSION OF A SINNER

2007-12-05T15:00:00.000-05:00

The other day in a post, I encouraged the giving of the gift of mercy this Christmas season. So, today I thought I might put a picture of a present for each time I have extended mercy since Monday, the day of my post. There were the ones I gave to my co-workers, a couple extended to friends and family.

And then, I had a thought that HORRIFIED me. I began to wonder how many of these "gifts of mercy" might have been gifted to me without my awareness? What if these gifts were overflowing from underneath my Christmas tree as I smugly sat recounting the half dozen or so I had gifted? I also thought of the many, many mercies You have gifted to me. If I took the rest of my life, I could not even begin to recount them all.

And I wept.

THESAURICALLY SPEAKING.....

2007-12-04T12:38:00.000-05:00

Last night my daughter and I were on our way home from a Bible study. She said, "Mom, did you realize you talk like a Thesaurus?!" She went on to describe how I added synonym after synonym while expressing my thoughts.

My daughter, offspring, heir, descendant had me laughing, jovially expressing myself so hard, vigorously, intensely at her depiction, representation, portrayal of me talking, discussing, conversing.

But seriously, I have no clue as to why she would think that!

Image taken from here

CONSIDER GIVING THIS FOR CHRISTMAS

2007-12-03T13:56:00.000-05:00

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:

It blesses him that gives and him that takes.

-William Shakespeare "The Merchant of Venice"

BLESSED ARE THE MERCIFUL, FOR THEY SHALL RECEIVE MERCY. - Matthew 5:7

image taken from here

TRADITION

2007-11-29T14:42:00.000-05:00

"TRADITION!" I have had a number of conversations lately centered on traditions. Last night my daughter and I spent some time decorating one of our Christmas trees. There was alot of tradition tied up even in that. We buy a new ornament every year. Certain ornaments are the favorites and hold places of honor on the tree. The big tree gets the special flickering flame lights while the smaller tree gets the mini lights.

Tradition(s) can bring comfort and joy and peace and hope. We have so many ornaments on the big tree. It "feels" beautiful. There are tons of memories. Some day, I will box up many of those ornaments and hand them off to my daughter for her own home and holiday traditions and she will know that there is love and a memory in each and every one. After we finished decorating, we turned off all the lights and just spent some time wrapped in the warmth emanating from our tree.

Sometimes traditions can cause discomfort, pain, or really need to be discarded. As we were going through our ornaments last night, I came across several that were Kathy and Dan ornaments...the one from "1979 Our First Christmas" and the one with the picture taken a few years later and the handmade ones that boasted our union. But now there is Kathy and there is Dan. Through twinges, I wondered to myself why I hadn't boxed these up and set them aside for our daughter. She is the only one to whom these depictions of the "Kathy/Dan" period truly now belong.

A few years back we were going through some very hard, dark times. I could not bring myself to put up all the Christmas decorations. So we put up our big tree and hung one, lone ornament on it. This ornament had a painting of sparrow with the scripture, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31) Funny, but that is one of my favorite Christmas memories...the year we were broken hearted and discouraged and the one bright beam of hope that shown through, like that one ornament standing out against an empty and stark Christmas tree...was that we were in the hands of an Almighty God who knew every hair on our heads and loved us. It was holy. And we were strengthened and comforted. I am so glad we departed from our traditional tree that year.

I think so it goes with church. Some of our traditions I value because they transplant joy and hope and peace into the center of my heart. Some don't. Some can distract. Some can actually devalue our relationships, with each other and with our Christ. In the end, traditions are just that...traditions. I guess there is value in knowing which ones to keep and which ones to let go and even in starting new ones. But true wisdom lies in knowing that traditions are not Jesus. Jesus is Jesus.

Image taken from here.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2007-11-28T11:59:00.000-05:00

"Remember Son, always use your brain.....AND your mind!"
(overheard by my daughter at a friend's house!)

Image taken from here.

AND GOD RESTED....

2007-11-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. Genesis 2:2

God, How do you rest? I mean, I cannot picture You working. I know You create things and do mighty things....like keep the whole world and universe spinning and intact....but what does work look like on You? I know what work looks like on me....sometimes grueling, sometimes tiring, sometimes intense, sometimes exhilarating. But what do You look like when You are working? And resting? What do You do to rest? Lay down? Put Your feet up? Close Your eyes? Keep very still? Day dream?

And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. Genesis 2:8

And Lord, when You planted this garden...did You start it from seeds or did You speak it into existence? Did You dig holes for the plants and wipe the moist soil off Your hands onto what....overalls? Did You have a seed bag slung over one shoulder? Did You watch as the seedlings burst from the earth and grew into maturity? Did You rest under the shade of one of the trees You had planted?

then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. Genesis 2:7

Now this...this I can understand. Because I remember when You breathed the breath of life into my spiritually dead life. I remember awakening and coming alive. I can remember the closeness of Your presence, Your very touch. And still now, those moments when Your breath, Your very Spirit, Your touch... fills my heart and mind and soul with echoes of that newness of life, renewing the deadened parts of me, and drawing me ever closer to You.

Image taken from here.

Being created in the image of God...well, now...that is just a gift!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2007-11-13T16:45:00.000-05:00

"Just push the mute button even if she is standing right in front of you!"

(motherly advice)

Image taken from here.